Kahee Ankahee

#6

The carbon- di- oxide , stored in my lungs escaped with a heavy sigh and I gasped for fresh oxygen. He was happy to see his effect on me. He then leaned down and came closer to me while I stood with my back pressing against the wall behind me. He moved his lips closer to mine such that there was a gap of only two and half centimetre between us. He eyed my lips intensely and smiled my favourite smile.

"Measuring the distance between us?", he said.

Damn! How does he know?

"Don't worry. I won't do anything until you are ready", he said caressing my cheek.

I was surprised to find my lips parting, eager to touch his. But that's where I was different from most of the others. I knew the very thin line which separates reality from dreams . I knew that I couldn't afford him . I loved him enough to leave him and vanish. And then came my tough side into action.

"Who said I am ever going to be ready?" , I asked him.

The mixed feeling of love and longing was replaced by a tough expression on my face. He was taken back by the sudden change of my emotions. He wasn't expecting it at that moment.

"You are wrong, Mr. Shekhawat. I will never be ready." I felt the bitterness in my own voice as those words came out of my mouth. "It's better if you find someone else who will stay with your stupidity".

He didn't reply anything and kept looking at me in daze. I walked out swiftly not being able to face him . I knew I had slapped him hard with my words.

That night, as I laid on the bed, I realized it was not as easy to ignore him as I had first thought, because now my body was responding to him and so was my heart.

To top it all...My brain , which was the most trustworthy part of me wasn't an exception either. I don't know when it happened, where it happened, why it happened but I was madly and insanely in love with Randhir .

I remembered all my moments with him as those memories became a part of my good night's sleep. I still remember - how me made me memorise the entire quiz book after school hours in just a week, the way he held my hand when we got the first prize , the way he saved me from embarrassment when the frills of my saree fell off in the middle of a dance and how I felt the sparks between us get stronger when we sang a duet song on our school 's annual day last year.

I don't know if I should be happy for having a better brain than many others because I can remember even minute details about him- like a millimeter growth of hair on his face, the pattern of his shirts, the exact words he spoke, the killing smiles he gave according to different moods, the scent of his sweat, tan of his body, his touch, the feel of nearness ... Everything was perfect until the shock had hit me.

My Life had given me all the best things in the world - Caring parents , trustworthy friends ,amazing brain power ,looks, talent, education, and most importantly - Randhir . But I was not qualified to have him regardless of my infinite love for him.

Tears started streaming down my eyes uncontrollably. Fortunately, my Mom had gone to attend the conference of university professors in Chennai otherwise She would pester me in the morning, to give an explanation for my swollen eyes . I will miss my mamma, papa from up there in heaven or hell whatever I don't care. It doesn't matter which place it is if your loved once are not there.

At least I can tell my family how much I love them and how much they mean to me .But it was a different case with Randhir. I just can't go and explain him everything and say what I really wanted to say it to him.

I can't leave him lonely and shattered. I can't give him my brief days. Rather I wanted to see him in love with someone else who will be there for him and give him- her complete life, children, happiness and my favorite smile on his face .

I was trying to shut my mind and stop feeling so miserable. There was still time to live and say good bye. May be I could wait for a miracle?

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To be continued....

It's not the end... There 4-5 parts more..

It has a Happy Ending...