Kahee Ankahee

#12

I was in the library but I was not in my mind to read anything. I glanced around and found Arpita sitting in a corner with a book. We always sat together during library hours but today, it was different. I remembered our conversation of the previous day in my house. If only she could know..

I had got up late that morning after a late night crying hangover. I rushed to school in my dad's car instead of riding my usual bicycle. Once I was inside the school, I noticed everyone looking at me strangely like they did when I was in grade 4. I knew something went wrong after I went from the canteen. I always enjoyed the attention and admiration that I receive from others. But being the center of everyone's big mouth was unusual and unwanted. I regretted asking Arpita about the previous day. The whole night I had prayed, Randhir should be okay.

A few minutes later, I got to know about a fight between Randhir and the love letter boy who once made a big issue of giving me a public love letter on the walls of the girls washroom. I heard that the other boy told something about me which made Randhir punch his nose.

No one heard what exactly he told . It didn't mattered to me who told what. But What mattered was the fact that Randhir was so much concerned about me . It surely wasn't good for both of us. I was spoiling his life. I, Sanyukta Aggarwal , the one with full of solutions is now searching for the right questions. Where am I going wrong? Am I running in a circle? The more I tried to ignore the more complex it became.

I saw Aaryan or the love letter guy , giving me an antagonist look. He now leads the group that opposes my each and every move and suggestion in class level. The lover boy once, had now become my adversary. I was lost in my thoughts when the attender came and told me that someone had come to see me.

As I strode my way out, I found  Randhir waiting outside. Even at a time like that I didn't fail to notice his dark circles, a band aid on his left hand thumb, worry lines on his face, blood clot at the side of his lips, yet a charming smile that lit up on seeing me!

"What do you want now???", I said composing myself.

"Nothing. Just felt like seeing you"

"Ok . Now that you saw me... I am going" I was back to my cold self again.

"What happened to your eyes? You cried?", I heard him say.

I became conscious.

"Ummm...I.... I Over slept" I lied .

"Listen Sanyukta, there's something I want you to know -  if there's anything that you want to share with me, please don't hesitate to do so .I will surely understand and will always be there for you " , he became emotional.

"Why are you telling me this, Randhir ?"

"Well, In case if you feel that I might leave you in future ", he said

'I know you won't ', my heart said...

"You know I will not ", he said

"You have boards very soon. Concentrate on that. Other things can wait", I said .

"What does that mean?" , he was slowly glowing with joy.  I know I was giving him false hopes.

"It means you will get a better girl someday. But For now , just work hard for your exams as you have so many entrances to write.", I said.

"I will. But say YES..."

"For what...? You are unbelievable Randhir . I really can't believe you are doing this. You and me.... How can I make you understand .... It's just not possible between us. Why are you acting so silly? What is that you see in me? Please leave me Randhir . It hurts me to say that to you every time" .

Maybe I spoke a little too much. I wish I could take back the last words.

"Why does it hurt you if it doesn't concern you ?", he asked lifting a brow.

I stood speechless as I had no reply. I felt as if I had a brain that just did some stupid numerical calculations and remained silent in situations like these . It was like Randhir had the key to my brain and he switches it off when he comes near me.

Yes, I was concerned about everything that was related to Randhir . And I was sure that he was well aware of that . Then why the hell he was torturing me to say that openly? I was slowly giving up on the battle. May be mom is right. May be I should do what I love to do.... But how?  Should I say - I will even die to be with him or should I say because I will die, I can't be with him....

" Give yourself a chance , Sanyukta . I cant keep bunking classes to meet you like this. Say something soon. You know the answer."

"Who told you to bunk the classes? Is it because you are confident that you can do anything? And when you know the answer why are you bothering me?" I was back to myself. I was angry on him.

"Well...That was almost an answer", he Said smiling at me . The blood clotted side of his lips went up and hurted him but that didn't seem to stop him from smiling my favourite smile.

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To be continued ...

The truth will be revealed in next update or maybe be the update after that.

Ignore mistakes.... it's unedited....