Kahee Ankahee

#14

"How are you feeling?" , he asked me getting up on his feet while Pogo stood wagging its tail.

I gave him a "what are you doing here" look, gasping for air.

"I can explain"

"Explain then. What are you waiting for?? " , I couldn't stand without putting an end to my curiosity. The words were followed by the heaviness in my head.

"Take it easy. We have all the time in the world"

I have long known the fact that I didn't have much time with me. But how do I make him understand that??? It would be a worst thing to do. I don't know why but whenever I try to run away, I keep coming back to him. What should I say to such a thing? An opportunity?Misfortune? Luck? Or unluck? I was running out of words. I really wanted to sit down before I fall on him again like I did that day in Bengaluru.

"Where am I? Is this your place?", I couldn't help asking him.

"I can answer that later but For now..." , I stopped him in between by showing my palm to him. I had of enough everything. I had to put an end to it now. I wanted to enjoy my dying days rather than feeling guilty of leaving him. But this man doesn't leave me alone just like my fate doesn't leave me..

"Who the hell you think you are ,Randhir ? When I've already told you that I am not interested in you , why the hell do you keep making me suffer? Please ! just go away from here." , I wished to die there as I heard myself speaking out those words.

"You don't mean it Sanyukta " , he said with his eyes brimming with tears.

My heart ached at the sight in front of me. What was I doing to him and to myself? In fact what's happening? Why am I still living? I was breaking him. What was the use of my intelligence which I was once proud of?

"You like it when I'm around you. You are just not accepting it openly. I know you more than you can imagine. I know how much you cry every time you think you have hurted me. I know how much you suppress your love to keep a distance from me. I can understand how much strength it takes to willingly ignore someone you are in love with.", I stood there listening to him blankly.

"I know how hard it was for you to try not to blush and unknowingly you always do . I know how hard it was for you to take your eyes off me and unknowingly kept staring at me. I know how you smiled when you walked in front of me and thought I didn't notice", he looked into my eyes and continued, "I know everything, Sanyukta . "your  stealthy smile , your sadness as soon as I get away, your silent prayers that saved me at times.... The Gifts on my birthday from an unknown person, the way you speak to me in your dreams, and the lost page from your dairy...", saying that he took out a folder paper from his pant's pocket. It looked familiar . It was a page from my diary.

"I am sorry. I read your dairy when we were in Bangalore for our regionals." , he said holding his ears with both his hands.

Dear Ron...
I wish I could call you that all the time. Today, I saw you playing volleyball in the playground. I don't know why, but you looked so cute to me. I could see the sweat beads running down your forehead from our throw ball court .  I was  really tempted to wipe it with my hand . Arpita told me you were stealing glances of me throughout the match. Well you could have called me as even I was waiting for that.

We met again in the afternoon and I loved it when you said what was there in my mind.What you told was so true but I had to pretend as if it was wrong.

That evenings lecture on "how to concentrate on studies " went without me concentrating on what the speaker was saying. I was busy dreaming about us. Its ok, at least I can dream about you without letting you know. I think I lost count of time and kept continuously staring in your direction. Thankfully you didn't see me doing that.

I was feeling a bit weak and uneasy last night  so I went down to get something to eat. That was when I heard my mom sobbing in her room. My Papa was consoling her saying that's how the fate works and if I wished to run on tracks they should fulfill it as my parents and allow me to go to regionals. I ran back to my room on my toes without making any noise. I was feeling guilty of making parents suffer because of me. I wish I can live more Randhir. To love you like the way you love me .........

Yours,
Sanyukta Shekhawat..

"You love me so much that you already changed your sur name to Shekhawat " , his dull face became cheerful again.

It was too filmy... I never thought that someone (apart from my family) would love me so much to observe such minute things.

"That's because we are family" he said. I didn't even open my mouth and he knew what was there on my mind.

"I would rather die than living without you Sanyukta ", Randhir said with tear filled eyes. "No lover wants to see his love in pain. I was the reason of your tears. But Now I promise I'll never let you cry again "

"You are not the reason behind my tears, Randhir ..." , I said in a croaked voice. The words I intended to speak further formed a lump and got stuck inside my throat. I needed to tell him about my illness . But He knows me more than I know myself. Does he know why am I here? About my diseases?

"Randhir , I want to tell you s...", he cut me in between by placing his finger on my lips

"Shhhhhh..... You talk too much Sanyukta . Today I want you to listen to me ", he said with authority in his voice.

"But Randhir.... This is ....", I was cut off again.

"Ahh... I know you won't stop talking if I ask you like this. I guess I'll have to use an alternative for that ", he said coming closer to me. And as usual I was conscious of the gap between us.

"Stop doing that and look at me. I told you I will cover that gap between our lips soon. Now I think the time has arrived ."

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To be continued...

I know the mystery is still unresolved.. you are very confused of what is Randhir doing there.. You all will get the answer in the next update.

Actually as I said This update was supposed to be the last update of this story but it was getting too long so I ended it here...