'feel normal'
Troye’s POV
As we carry on down the trail, Jacob’s warm hand still encasing mine, his sweet words race through my mind with haste. One word louder than the rest.
Beautiful
The sincerity he held in his tone when he said that to me made me believe that maybe he really does think all that about me. All I managed was a soft thank you but I didn’t know exactly how to react; I had never gotten such compliments often. But then I resorted to what I know best, making the situation not about me.
“I also think you are beautiful, Jacob,” I say after the comfortable silence, mustering all the courage I held in my being to say it.
“You do?” he asks, he sounds like he doesn't believe me.
“Well physically I will never really see you, but what I can tell you are both a beautiful and caring guy, Jake. You are so patient with me and you listen to me like I’m the most interesting thing in the world. You make me…feel normal... and most of all you make me feel safe. I do trust you Jacob, I just feel like I need Bruno beside me. He makes me feel safe but so do you I promise,” my heart is racing with the words that I had just spoken. They are genuine, I hope Jacob realises that.
He doesn’t say anything back but he stops in his tracks; I do as well. At my sudden pause, Bruno stands still as well. Jacob then lets go of my hand and turns me gently by my shoulders, most likely to face him.
He lifts my face up slowly by my chin, thumbing his large finger over my skin. I let go of Bruno’s leash, hearing it fall to the ground with a soft thud, to place my smaller hands over Jacob’s hands -that are now cupping my cheeks- just about covering my entire face as they are so big in comparison; I love that. Why do I love that so much?
“Thank you, Troye,” he whispers finally, then placing the softest and smallest of kisses to my forehead. He really needed those words, I'm so happy I said them.
My heart is beating so fast I think it may burst and it just about does when he does that. I remain still in his hands, running my fingers lightly over his own that still sit on my cheeks that are by now, despite the chilly wind, burning with my crimson blush.
My face remains blank though, trying to process what is going on.
Jacob then takes his hands from my face to hold mine. I shiver as his soft warmth leaves my face. I am so cold again, despite me wearing Jacob's large coat.
I want the warmth back, so I make sure he is still standing in front of me. Then I take a slow step closer to him to press my face against his chest as I wrap my arms around him.
Honestly, our height difference once intimidated me a bit, knowing he is way stronger than me by miles, but now I adore it, I now feel safe; not afraid.
I feel even safer when he wraps his own arms around my waist and I sigh happily at the warmth it provides me.
“You must be so cold Jake, I stole your coat,” I say with a giggle, knowing all he has now on his upper half is long sleeved shirt.
“No, I gave it to you T. I’m fine, but you still seem cold. Let’s make our way back yeah?” his voice sends vibrations through his chest, comforting me even more. I love the sound of his voice.
“Okay,” I whisper into his chest.
He gives me one last squeeze around my waist then runs his hands up and down my back a few times to try warm me up then lets me go. He takes my one hand in his.
I pick up Bruno's leash to start our way back up the trail.
I want nothing more than to walk this trail again with Jacob.
…….
Jacob leaves to go back to his apartment, after making sure I was safely back at mine with Bruno at my side.
I head upstairs, immediately going to take a shower and then go to bed.
Bruno follows me upstairs, obviously going to wait for me on my bed as he does every night.
I get into the shower, my thoughts clustering my mind as soon as I am under the warm waterfall of water.
Recently I have been missing home, a lot.
I miss all the little things. My mum’s calming voice, my dad’s bawdy laugh, Tyde’s whining, Sage’s comforting touch, Steele’s teasing, Jagga's bark and then of course the sweet, homely scent of Perth.
I miss our family picnics on the beach or just going out with Kayla to our favourite café; always the little things.
At least our school break would soon be upon us and I will get to go home for about two weeks, I can't wait.
As I rinse the last of the soap that I feel on my skin, I step back out the shower and grab the towel from the rack on my right.
I dry myself quickly, quickly walking to my room to get changed into the shirt and sweatpants I left on my bed.
After I get dressed into them, I clamber beneath the cold covers.
Bruno takes his rightful place at my side. I stroke his soft ears, now finding myself to not be as tired as when I got back home.
I allow my mind to drift back to Jacob.
Oh Jacob.
Just thinking of his flattery makes me blush.
I want to believe that all that he said is really the way he sees me, but I doubt it all and I overthink it all.
I feel like I don't know nearly as much as I need to know about Jacob Bixenman.
I know he loves to write, he is darn good at it too. I think back to him reading out some of his essays and poems to see if I thought they were any good.
I know he is humble. I know he is open minded. I know that he is honest. I know he is caring. I know he is an amazing person from what I have gathered thus far.
I know quite a bit about the boy, but one thing I still want to establish is if he is really worthy of my trust, I don't need to be making another big and dumb mistake in my life.
Making a mistake once is okay but then you must learn from it.
Making that same mistake again is simply pure stupidity.
