Love is Lame

Chapter 28

HARRY

I'm so stupid. I'm so fucking stupid. I have no damn filter and I just let anything I'm thinking come out of my mouth. I've heard about things like this. The first few months are always fun and giddy and cute, and then it's compromise. Adding a sudden baby in the mix probably isn't healthy either.

Falling back on the couch, I heard music coming from the bedroom. Liv would find a way to have music. What can I do now? What do I say? Should I chase after her and tell her I love her and I'm sorry? Or do I let her sleep and calm down? There is no apologizing for this. I said those words, they will be in her brain forever. What I said isn't even true, that's what hurts. She doesn't need me. Like she said, she's better off with me but she doesn't need me like I need her. I'm nothing special.

I stood outside of the bedroom door and luckily, I didn't hear Liv crying. I heard the crunching of potato chips in her mouth and the radio host talking. And then her phone went off and she stopped chewing and she flung the door open and ran into the kitchen.

"Harry, I need to use your phone." She was frantic, buzzing.

"What for?" I said, pulling it out of my pocket and giving it to her.

"I just need to." She dialed a number and was breathing fast, biting her nails.

"Emma! Are you okay?" Emma? Who the hell is Emma?

"I'm on vacation right now, but I need you to breathe, okay? I need you to get the hell out. Call Mrs. Henderson, okay? Tell her you talked to me." Who the hell are these people? What's going on? "You are doing so great, Emma. I'm so proud of you."

"Liv?" I whispered, worried but she ignored me. I heard crying on the other end and Liv put her hands on her temples sighing.

"Are you out of the house?" She paused. "Okay, I need you to hang up and call the police, okay? Tell them what happened and then call me right back. I love you."

"What the hell is going on?" I said quietly, sitting next to her at the counter.

"One of my kids, her dad shot her mom," I gasped and tears were welling the edges of Liv's eyes.

"Oh my god," I put my hand over hers and she fell into my chest, sobbing. I put my arm around her body and kissed her hair over and over again. "You're making the world a better place, baby," I knew saying that was dangerous but she needed me. "She trusted you to call you."

"Why her, though? Why not me?" She sat up and looked at me and seeing the tears pouring out of her eyes and the hopelessness in her face and knowing I couldn't do anything about it was the worst thing in the whole world.

"Babe, don't think that way," And the phone was ringing and Liv picked it up on the first ring.

"Emma?" She listened to the girl talk and squeezed my hand and I'm so, so grateful she isn't mad right now. "I'm going to be home in four days, alright? As soon as I get home I'll be there. We'll figure something out, alright?"

The panic behind her voice was painful as her hand never left mine. "None of this is your fault, Em. You didn't do anything, got it? You are so strong and I am so proud of you for making it this far. Are the police there yet?" I was wrong. I was so wrong. She is going to be a great mother and she will always need me, even if I'm just a hand to hold.

"Okay, good luck. If you need anything, you call this number, got it? Don't hesitate." She ran a hand through her hair and listened to the young girl talk. "I love you too."

She gave me my phone back and we sat there awkwardly, not knowing what to say. It was too much; the fight, the words I said, the baby, and now this. It was all getting to me and Liv's grip on my hand might as well be her grip on my heart.