Love is Lame

Chapter 13

OLIVIA

I got to my dorm and Anna was sitting on her bed. She smiled at me and I smiled back - part of this new friendship thing.

"You look better." She noted. "Well, better compared to the fact that the last time I saw you you were sobbing."

I smiled. "Yeah, things are better. I think. A hell of a lot went down, but I think we got it figured out." I sat down on her bed awkwardly and tried to hide my smile.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant." I blurted out and Anna's jaw dropped as she pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so happy for you! I know you don't want the whole 'you're too young' speech and I won't give it to you. You're never too young. Sure, it's going to be difficult. Very difficult. But look how far you've come these past few months, even. You're speaking to me. You just let me hug you. God, I remember what my mom said when I moved in. She was so scared of you, but I knew you were a softy."

"I am not a softy!" I shouted, smiling. "Okay, maybe I'm a teeny softy. I'm going to take my lip ring out. Anyway, thank you Anna. That means the whole world and then some." I told her honestly.

She smiled. "I'm happy for you." We sat there awkwardly for a few minutes. "I'm going shopping later, I won't be around." I was trying my hardest not to laugh at her. I guess that's what innocent friends do.

"I have work to catch up on." I said, climbing off of her bed and smiling to myself. God, Harry has so gotten to me. I've barely even thought about my problems. I haven't even thought about cutting until now, and I don't want to. In fact, I wouldn't do it for a million dollars. If I were to cut, Harry would find out and he would be hurt and I don't think I could stand that. Seeing that hurt and shame flash through his eyes when I found that... condom, made my heart break.

And that's one factor of this odd feeling. I would do anything or risk anything to make him happy. Another beautiful thing is no matter how many times we fuck, (which is a lot) I still get goosebumps when he touches me and visa versa. When someone still gives you that thrill after you've had the feeling before is beautiful. That's love.

When Anna left I was still working. Organizing portfolios, listening to music. Although I couldn't help think about how Harry would sing it.

Around two, I finished my work and realized I should probably shower or get dressed out of Harry's clothes, but then I decided against it. I'll just shower tonight and not tomorrow morning. I really don't feel like doing anything tonight except sleeping.

I got really bored and started cleaning out my drawers when I found a stack of pictures. Looking at every one of them made me want to cry even more. They were all taken last year at parties and bars and in all of them I'm drunk and have my arm around Stacy or Zayn or some drunk guy who probably got into my pants later that night. I saw my lighter in the corner of my eye and took it and all the pictures and sat between mine and Anna's bed.

I picked up a picture of me, Zayn, Louis, Stacy, and the football player Liam. Zayn was holding me like I was his property and kissing my cheek, and Louis was kissing the other. We were all high and drunk as fuck, my tongue was shot out of my mouth and I was laughing. Stacy had her leg lifted in front of Liam's body as if she were humping him and he was kissing her. It's funny how we all look so happy when in reality we all hated ourselves.

I took the lighter to it and watched it crumble in my hands. And it felt fucking amazing. I picked up more pictures of us - usually Stacy and I in every picture - and burnt them all.

The adrenaline was getting to me as I burnt the fifth or sixth one and there was still a huge pile. There was something incredibly fascinating about how our faces turned colors before they burnt.