Mixed Thoughts

Down The List

This pain

A Silent scream that only those whole feel it hear it

I guess nobody has felt pain like this before

The acidic blue ocean crashing waves upon my earth

Burning the grounds I used to play in

And spiraling me into the unknown

It's like Amnesia

This pain

I can't remember how I got to where I'm at

And I'm surrounded by signs of uncertainty

I'm lost and no one cares

They can't feel my pain

So they turn their head away,
So they don't have to watch me drown

I wake up afraid if what is in the night, Because I remember events that happen in them

And I run from repetition, But this sorrowful song plays over and over again

In my had it feels like death , my emotions, my thoughts, my feelings

They're playing tag inside my head

Round and Round in circles I go , And i push it so far away so I won't feel anything

I WANT IT TO STOP!

I smile, and you think the smile is true, but between me and you I'm fading away and I don't know what to do

I go pill through pill but I have nothing left to lose, but do I?

I don't know

I don't Know

I don't Know

I don't KNOW WHAT I AM DOING

I'm blind and I can't see anything anymore , I need life so my words hurt you long enough to take away yours

I'm screaming, but you don't say anything!

I'm St-St-Stuttering because I'm losing my mind, and we're running out of time

I'm trying but oh god I'm dying

I'm drowning, I'm suffocating, I need life long enough to take away mine

It hurts, It hurts, Oh god it hurts so much

Say something, Can you hear me?

I'm drowning, Can't you see me?

What is this world I live in? Am I dead?

Oh my god, Am I already dead?

Do you believe I went to a better place?

All these solemn silent words I try to say , and you turned away?

As I faded, oh I faded so far away

S-S-S-S-Suicide you said to her?

But you could have saved me if you reached out your hand and told me it would be okay!

But you turned away and abandoned me!

I St-St-Stutter but I N-Need your love and devotion

You're cruising the sea leaving me to drown in this ocean

You left me to die in the ocean

And I watched as you waved your final goodbyes and moved on with your life

And you did not turn back to watch as I was swept away..