Beatles Imagines

14. Paul

"I'm out of options, Paul. I've got to run, I can't face the public now that it's becoming noticeable! Hell, my parents are starting to figure it out, and they're oblivious to everything." I huffed, knocking my head against the wall. The stress of this situation was starting to get unbearable to deal with, and with every hour we continued to fight, it just got worse.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, completely annoyed by the fact that I wanted to run from our hometown. I almost did the same to him, agitated by his naïve tendencies. I knew he wanted to support me and be there for me and our child, but what he didn't realize how embarrassing and petrifying it would be if people started to figure it out. I was only 17, and starting senior year.

My life would be ruined if I stayed: I'd be ridiculed and shunned by my own blood, not to mention the rest of the public for being pregnant.

"Listen, you're not running away. I want to be here for our kid, alright?" He spoke possessively, throwing his hands in the air. I looked at his brown locks which were disbelief by the manner he frequently yanked on them and ran his digits through them.

"Then come with me." I suggested, though I knew it was a waste of breathe. He was too involved with this place then to run astray.

Even if he agreed, I was almost definite that I wouldn't let him come. I wouldn't let him jeopardize his own education and his relationship with his family to leave. Plus, that band of his were going places, and I couldn't ruin his dream of being a musician. That's all he ever talked about when we discussed the future.

He sighed, scratching the back of his neck with his hand. He gnawed on his bottom lip, and I could tell by his expression he was weighing his options. Silence surfaced throughout the tension filled air and I found it becoming unbearable.

"You know I can't do that." He finally answered, sitting down on an upholstered couch in his vacant house. Just as I'd suspected. "I can't."

Paul dragged both of his hands down his very distressed face. His brown, doe eyes were glossy with tears, and I felt myself getting choked up as well. "I just don't know why you want to leave so bad. Do you think I'd be a bad father?"

"No, you'd be an amazing father. But, don't you understand how awful people around here would be to me? I'd never hear the end of it. In fact, that'd be the only thing I'd hear about. I would no longer be a "friend" or a "neighbor", I'd be that teenager who got knocked up the duff."

Oh how I longed that life never threw us such a colossal curveball. Before this all happened, we were so jubilant and in love, and now, well now, things were coming to a rather sudden halt. If only things had been different...Maybe I would've been able to stay, and instead of packing my bags and scrounging the cushions for bus fare, I'd be having dinner with my family.

Now life had been flipped on its side, and I had no idea how to manage. They don't teach you how to manage your life when things have gone to shit, only how to prevent it. I couldn't fathom as to what I should've done, what was right, and was wrong.

It was a handful and never more in my life had I wanted to wipe my existence from earth completely. But, that was not an option, I could not run from life when another life depended on me.

"It shouldn't matter what they say." He started to get under my skin. Of course it mattered; there were so many things that would be jeopardized in the public found out.

"Well Paul-" he cut me off before I could explain, abruptly standing from his position.

"Please stay. Stay for me at least. I love you," he begged, his persuasive tone sounding completely tempting.

"I love you too, but you know when it really comes down to it, I can't be here anymore." I whispered, trying my hardest to steady my breathing. I took pauses in-between my words, trying to contain a loud noise from escaping me. I didn't know as to whether it was a scream or a sob, but I swallowed, hoping that somehow it'd help.

"What about us?"

"I'm not sure." I muttered.

Unwanted tears spilled down my face, and I turned away from him, physically unable to look at his face any longer. I was bereaved enough, and did not want to see him as despondent as me.

"Fuck," he cursed, and in my peripheral vision, I could see him kick over a bedside table. The block of wood fell onto its side and the lamp that once sat on it shattered into a million pieces.

I flinched and held a quivering hand to my mouth. Whimpers involuntary escaped my lips, and I reluctantly turned to the scene. Luckily, I saw no blood, only broken glass and a distressed man.I looked down to his feet and legs, making sure he wasn't injured, and almost audibly sighed at the fact he was wearing shoes.

"You could move in with me and we can get our own place near here once I get enough money." He pleaded, grasping any idea that came to his mind. Oh, how he flipped moods on the dime when he became stressed.

He inched closer to me, completely ignoring the mess he'd just made. I backed away for my own sanity. I couldn't be so close to him when I was going to leave him, it didn't work that way.

"I can't do that to you. Plus, my parents are ultimately going to look for me, and your house would be the first place they'd look."

"Well, what are you going to do, cut me off from you completely?" His voice broke, as he ran a hand through his hair once again. "I thought you said-"

"I'm not going to drag you into this. Don't you understand that this is a good thing for you? I'm giving you an out, so you can live your life and make it big in the music industry."

He didn't reply and I knew he was silently agreeing with my words. I wiped my tears eyes with the sleeve of my baggy sweater as reality beat down on me.

If he was truly agreeing, I would never see him again after today.

"I'll visit you...as soon as I get money, I'll visit you." He cried, wiping his eyes as well. "I-I can call you every night and we can talk."

"I don't think it'd be a great idea, Paul." I spoke wearily, wondering about the effects it'd have on me.

"Why not?" He questioned, raising his voice at me.

"It'd hurt too much. Knowing that I can only have you for a little while..." I said honestly, pulling on the hem of my clothing anxiously, not bothering to wipe the tears that fell rapidly from my eyes.

"Well, if you can't stay, it's the least you can do for me. I want to be apart of the both of your lives, and I might go crazy if I know you're out there and I can't have you. It's better to have something than nothing."

I gave in, thinking it over. I suppose as long I didn't stay here, it'd be okay to see him. I would just have to set boundaries with him and make sure that neither of us gives in and move with one another. "Okay."

~

He never called, nor did he visit.