Beatles Imagines

25. John

Dread filled every ounce of my body when I saw what the innocent seeming ivory letter entailed. My heart raced faster than it ever had before, and terror circulated my every thought. I could feel fate's unfortunate breath on my neck, making every hair on my body rise in an instant.

George asked over and over again what was wrong, but I did not respond as my blood ran cold and my mouth hung open.

He was getting married.

~
I sipped generously on my fourth or fifth glass of champagne, and John gave me a tight smile from across the room. The look in his eye told me that he obviously didn't know that I was coming. I did not smile back, I couldn't even muster the strength to look at him excitedly. But how could I, when it was only two months ago that he broke off our affair in such an abrupt manner?

I didn't know why he invited me anyways. Why would he even want to, when he was getting married to another woman? Surely, he didn't invite me to get a rise out of me. Although, if he did, I suppose he'd be succeeding in his goal.

However, deep inside me knew that he wasn't a bad person. He never was. He was a kindred spirit who kissed my lips and broke through to my soul. He was he only one who knew me for me, and it's a sad thing considering that my own husband doesn't know me that well.

I leaned my head on George's shoulder for comfort, because if this wedding is going to last any longer, I'm going to have to lean on somebody for support.

George grazed the palm of his thumb across my knuckles, and I felt no spark, no excitement whatsoever. I doubt he felt any differently than I, considering that I caught him in he act with somebody only days ago. Her name was Juliet, I think. I decided not to speak of it, because who was I to judge him if I had done the same thing?

Instead of intruding, I had walked out the door of our house without a word and took a long walk in the freezing rain, wondering if John still loved me the way I did him, because every single time I thought of him, my heart fluttered annoyingly in my chest.

Now, I heard the familiar organ noise sing throughout the chapel, and John looked towards the doors with a nervous face. His hands were folded behind his back, and I knew for certain that they were shaking; they always did when he became anxious. A familiar smile was spread across his face, it was a smile of admiration.

I almost couldn't bare this any longer. I involuntarily gripped George's hand tighter, waiting for my doom to be relieved.

As soon as I heard the doors open, I averted my gaze to the ground, blinking back tears that had formed in my eyes. I bit my lip until it drew blood, and glanced back up for less than a fraction of a second to see pretty features in a classic white gown. What once was just a bad dream was now becoming a brutal reality.

I was convinced I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Perhaps if I'd met John a couple years earlier, before I met George, I would be resting my head on his shoulder right now, instead of watching his bride get handed off by her father. Maybe, if he hadn't of gone to the party I threw just to see him, he wouldn't have ever met her, and I would be signing my divorce papers right now just so I could be all his. Maybe if he hadn't told me that he loved me only a month after my honeymoon, then my poor nerves would be saved of damage.

But no, fate was twisted, and I downed the rest of my drink.

"I loved you the moment I saw you from across the room." John read his vows aloud, letting out a breathy laugh after his sentence.

Funny that he said the same thing to me.

"I didn't used to believe in love at first sight, but when I saw your blond curls bouncing around as you danced to an unfamiliar song, I knew I had to have you. You are the most beautiful, inspirational, and kind being I have ever met, and ever will meet. You have bewitched me, Lillian. My heart will never be the same because it is you who has touched my soul like no other."

I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore.

I stood up from my seat in the corner, and began walking to the back exit. A few gasps filled the room, but I didn't care. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, and I picked up my pace so nobody saw me cry.

I was so foolish for falling for him. I was so stupid for thinking that he'd never find another. I was so blinded by my utter happiness and bliss, I forgot that the world was not as pulchritudinous as I thought it was.

I made the mistake of looking back before I disappeared into the vacant darkness of the dim hallway. The last amount of hope I had escaped my body, as he glanced at me with blank eyes like I was nothing, before looking back and slipping a ring on her finger.

I didn't care that George was yelling for me, as I walked outside. My feet guided me to a place unknown. His voice was nothing but a murmur over my intrusive thoughts.

How strange it was, how a day like this could be so perfect when I was having the worst day of my life? I cried violently as the sun beamed down on me. I gripped the ends of my hair tightly as birds hummed in the background. I fell to my knees and the bright green grass below me caught my fall.

I threw my head in my hands, and my body shook vigorously as I recalled one of the last memories we made together.

' "I'm so in love with you, and you have no idea." He murmured into the crevice of my neck before placing a hasty kiss to my skin.

"How much do you love me?" I looked in his eyes as soon as he lifted his head. His brown eyes gleamed under the dim lights, and I smiled softly before biting my lower lip.

"I love you infinitely, and that scares the hell out of me." He confided with furrowed brows, placing his large, warm hand on my cheek.

I shivered at the contact before asking,"Why does it scare you?"

"Because if I ever were to lose you, you'd be holding the key to my heart, and I'd never love another again." He brushed his finger under my eyelid, and revealed an eyelash to me. "Make a wish darling."

I blew on it, making a wish as he said.

"What did you wish for?"

"For us to never lose one another." '

Muffled screams escaped my mouth, I bowed my body down lower to the ground. My whole body felt cold and weak; I felt like I was going to be in shambles at any moment.

It was true when he told me that he was fire and I was ice. But, little did I know that he'd melt me when I got too close to his flames.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Nothing's okay anymore."