Beatles Imagines

27. Paul

People were crowded and bunched in the living room, congregating with one another whilst talking in boisterous voices. Laughs sounded throughout the room with a vibration. The dim lights reflecting off of forgotten confetti on the hardwood floors and the bright clothing were a distraction to my eyes. Despite the various people standing around, and despite the different conversations between them all, I felt completely and irrevocably alone.

I looked to Ringo for guidance, hoping he'd catch my bewildered glance his way, but he was too busy talking to Maureen to even notice my existence.  In fact, the whole party in attendance seemed to forget I existed.

I regretted agreeing to go to the New Years party, especially since I knew my introverted ways would have people flocking away.

Only one person had talked to me that night, and that was a drunken slob which asked me where the loo was at, before rushing off with some blonde-headed girl who had an obscene amount of cocaine in a plastic bag that she concealed poorly behind her back.

I frowned; the only interaction I had tonight wasn't even pleasant. The only reason I had decided to go was because of the free alcohol and the fact that the party was being hosted at Paul's house.

Paul.

The simple name itself had caused shivers to run down my spine. I didn't know what it was about that man, but whenever I thought about him, my heart raced and my head spun viciously. Ever since Richard and John introduced me to him, he made me absolutely mad in a way I had never felt before. He had wedged his way into my heart, and decided to stay.

He was handsome, charming, and definitely knew how to make me blush. But most of all, he was a kind and caring soul, who always tried his best to brighten my life. At first, I tried my hardest to dodge my feelings for him, but as time progressed and his flirtatiousness grew stronger, I fell for him.

What a shame it was for me to put my heart above my head, especially since he was known to get around quite a lot. It was misery for me to hear his about his rendezvous, but it was more of a misery to know he that wasn't even mine. Despite his flaws, I couldn't shake his doe eyes and wicked smile from my mind. He was the light of my life, and I couldn't have imagined how dim it would be if he wasn't there.

I looked across the room from the corner I stood in, and watched his tuxedo-clad self laughing with a woman who had a sandy blonde bob.

My body immediately tensed, and I subconsciously gripped the glass in my hand tighter. Envy filled me, and I tore my gaze away from the two when I realized I was glaring their way. There was no reason for me to get angry. After all, we were not in a relationship; it was simply unrequited love. But there I stood, as chafed as could be.

If only I were attractive and approachable, maybe then he would've fallen for me the way I agonizingly fell for him. Maybe then, he would finally see me in the light I would like him to. But of course, to him I was probably another conquest which he would throw aside after he used.

I brought my cup filled with gin and tonic to my lips, and sipped generously. Maybe if I got drunk enough, it would erase the image of him wrapping his arm around her waist. I wish I had never come here.

I looked to the clock on the wall and saw it was five minutes until twelve. Everybody was jumping in eagerness (though it could've been the drugs as well), and partying the last night of 1966 away. I, however, felt tremendously apprehensive for what the year of 1967 would bring. The unknown had always frightened me, and if it brought me anything like what it brought me this year, then I should be frightened.

I glanced back over to where Paul was, only to find an empty space where he was previously standing. Furrowing my eyebrows, I searched around the room to find him already making his way over to me. I broke eye contact immediately and looked back to the television, where Guy Lombardo announced there were only three minutes until New Year's Day.