Beatles Imagines

28. George p.1

"I need to tell you something." I said to him as we were sitting down. My head automatically bowed down towards the dark carpet below me and I drew my bottom lip to my teeth. I figured now was the right time, now that our worlds were settled and sorted. I no longer wanted to hide the secret that I had hid for years; the pressure of it all weighed heavily on my soul.

"What is it?" He questioned, completely ignorant of what I was going to say. I wondered to myself if he would see me in a different light after I told him. I loathed the idea, but I knew it had a chance of being reality as he sat in front of me with his large brown eyes scrutinizing me. I wondered if this was the last time he would be completely authentic and genuine with me.

I sighed, and raked a hand through my hair. I looked at the fire roaring in the fireplace beside us momentarily before drawing my eyes back to him.

"Well," I stopped myself, choosing my words wisely before I continued. My fingers toyed with the rings on my hands anxiously, but I felt that he might've been even more anxious as he sat at the edge of his chair.

"Go on." He urged with a brief hand motion.

"Back when we were silly teenagers, I developed a crush on you." I blurted out the secret, being very modest about the word 'crush'. I was uncertain to tell him that I had actually loved him, and that my love for him continued well on after I was an adolescent.

He bursted out laughing, and I jumped at the sudden action. His eyes crinkled, and I could tell that he was genuinely amused by how loud the noise came out of his mouth.

I blushed furiously, feeling completely ridiculous as a person for telling him.

"Are you going to compose yourself?" I asked after a few minutes of his roaring laughter. I clenched my jaw, suddenly feeling quite adamant on not telling him. If he found my love for him was as much of a joke, I would be sure to keel over and die right there.

"Yes, yes I'm sorry." He shook his head, bringing his index finger up and swiping the tears from the creases of his eyes. "I was thinking that you were going to tell me you had a terminal ailment or something, and then you come out and say you had a little crush on me."

"Ah, but you haven't heard the rest of what I have to tell you."

"Do you have a terminal illness?" He cocked an eyebrow at me, a slight smirk of disbelief and amusement crawling onto his lips.

"No." I replied, furrowing my eyebrows together and shaking my head.

"Okay, I'm sorry. You can continue." He shook his head once more, giving me a look of obedience.

I took a deep breath before diving into the subject that had been hidden so deep within my fragile mind, that I feared that removing it would damage me more than leaving it be.

"At first, I didn't think much of it. I knew crushes were fleeting, so I figured that with time I'd probably get over you. But I knew that it was starting to get serious once I started turning down guys because I was so hooked up on you." I rambled, letting my thoughts glide out of my mouth, though I was still particular on what to mention.

I watched his eyebrows slowly furrow in confusion.

"I thought about you constantly, and I wanted nothing more than to have you near me. I would've given anything for you to say that you liked me. And then, the night you came back from Hamburg happened." I closed my eyes for a moment, as the memory played vividly before me. I could remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was more than six years ago. I felt his hands around mine, and his warm, shallow breath hovering over my skin in the most delightful way.

It was such a bittersweet memory, I didn't know whether to sigh in delight or to cry.

"Do you even remember that night?" I questioned him once the memory washed away from my mind.

"Yes." Was all he said. The fun and games were no longer evident in him. His posture had straightened, and he looked at me with wide eyes. The glimmer in his eyes had diminished.

I nodded a sad smile and felt all of my breath being knocked out of me. Even though it had been years since everything had unraveled, it still affected me greatly.

"We both got hammered," I recalled the night. "And you started going on about how much you genuinely liked me and cared for me. Then you gave me my first kiss. And then-well you know what happened. It was one of the best moments that had happened so far in my life. It was the moment I knew that I had fallen for you."

I sighed, beginning to feel quite irked by this whole situation. I dragged my hand down my face.

"Fuck, I shouldn't even be talking about this." I pinched the bridge of my nose as the reality of this situation hit me. Regret suddenly flooded me; he should not know about this.

He looked at me in shock. His eyes were dark, and I could tell that even though he was looking straight at me, that he was in a totally different world. He seemed completely frozen, paralyzed in fear of events that'd already passed.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I should be doing this. I shouldn't have told you this, I'm sorry." I spoke hastily, and stood up abruptly. My blood rushed to my head, but I didn't even take the time to gain awareness to my surroundings as I walked away from the living room and into the kitchen.

I poured myself a glass of water with shaky hands, and took a generous sip. I looked back over to him to find him in the same place he was previously, staring into space. I wanted so badly to know what he was contemplating. But instead, I was only left to wonder about what his thoughts were.

"You know, I should probably go."

"No." He exclaimed, snapping himself out of his daze. He darted his eyes over to my figure. "Sit down. I need to hear everything."

I sat back down with reluctance, feeling his heavy gaze on me once again. I wanted to run out of his house and never look back, but he meant too much to me to just run away.

"I don't really want to talk about this an-"

"Please." He begged with a sense of urgency in his voice.

"Only if you promise me that you won't look at me differently after this."

"I promise." He replied with furrowed eyebrows which casted shadows upon his dark eyes.

"You sure about that?" I asked, needing his validation before I dived further into the story.

"I'm definite."