Pepperoni Pizza

9:00 pm [5]

Blue- Italic
Gabe- Bold

"If corals get stressed, they die. So if I was a coral, I'd be dead."

"What do corals even have to be stressed about?"

"Current events."

"..."

"You walked right into that one."

"I want a divorce."

"Wait, we're married now?"

"Well, we haven't talked in two weeks. I can't prove that you weren't having an affair behind my back."

"You want some peanut butter with that jelly?"

"I'm not jealous!"

"Good. So you won't mind me telling you that I got a girlfriend!"

"...are...are you serious?"

"....Yeah! I finally got the courage to ask this girl out so...we're dating."

"...which girl?"

"Oh you know, just some other person who calls me at work."

"Okay Mr. Sarcasm, what's her name?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"So I can scope out the competition!"

"...her name is...uh..."

"Uh? Is she even real?"

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"Well I ain't callin' you a truther."

"I can't have a relationship without trust."

"Let's talk about something else."

"Get your mind off your jealousy? I see, good strategy."

"Shut up oh my god."

"Wait, I have an idea."

"Your mother would be proud."

"Your hatred and sass only make me love you even more."

"I can smell the cheese from here. What's your idea?"

"Let's play truth or dare but without the dare. Truth for truth?"

"Okay...what's your favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Haha."

"My turn! Are you a virgin?"

"Woah there."

"It's a legitimate question!"

"...yeah...I am. What are your views on society?"

"Oh man I love sorcery!"

"I said society what the--"

"I believe society is trying to bully teenagers into becoming adults."

"What are you going on about?"

"Story time!! Okay, so, I went to the 7-Eleven near my job during break and when I was trying to buy a slushie, the dude behind the counter looked at me all judgy-like and I stared right back at him and kept eye contact as I slid my large bubblegum slushie on the counter. Then he said 'aren't you a bit old for a bubblegum slushie?' Needless to say, they never got my business again."

"Slushies aren't just for kids, fuck society."

"Yeah! My turn. Hmmm...what's your favorite movie?"

"Breakfast Club. You?"

"The Empire Strikes Back. My turn again, that counted as a question."

"Crap wait that didn't count."

"Yes it did shhhh."

"Alright alright Gab go ahead."

"Ew don't call me Gab."

"I'll call you whatever I want, babe."

"...I'm okay with that one..."

"I'd rather not. Your girlfriend would kill me. What's her name again?"

"April. She's not as direct as you, but I still love her."

"Direct...?"

"You asked for my penis the first time we talked. Remember?"

"Haha fuck you."

"I wish you would."

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Whoop looks like the Pizzeria is on fire gotta blast!"

"Gabe wait what--"

"beep."

"Agh crap."