Our Own Ending (Jeffmads Punk!Thomas and Nerd!James)

-6- Thomas

I sit there on my bed, just staring at my doorway. James ran out about 5 minutes ago, maybe should go after him. Quickly I stand up and ran out the door, I feel like I could barf any second. I ran back inside and grab my sunglasses and Advil then ran back outside.
My head stings, but I need go to apologize to James. Crowds filled the streets, I forgot it was rush hour. I wanted to take the long walk, so I walked through city.
After around 30 minutes I make it to his house. The lights are on, so I figured he was in there. I step over the stairs and knock on the door. The creaks opens and James walks out.
"Hey," He was wearing a baggy sweater and tight jeans. It always funny to me how everyone has to look up to look at me, except for Lafayette.
"Look, I'm sorry," I snap out of my thoughts, nervously I rub my neck.
"Sorry for what?" James leans against the door frame, locking eyes with me.
"For kissing you," I hear him sighs and I look away.
"There nothing to be sorry for," I look at him with a surprised face.
"That's not how you acted when it happened," I half yell and throw my hands in the air.
"I was just surprised," He backs away a little, "but I understand now, don't worry,"
"What do you mean, you understand?" He looks away and steps back into his house.
"It was the heat of the moment, it didn't mean anything to you," James closes the door in my face. I'm trying to process if this is better or worse then what I imagined would happen.
Out of stupidity I knock again.
"What the hell do want Thomas?" A slightly annoyed James comes out, again. Shit I don't have anything to say.
"W-well uhm you know..." I've never been this nervous before, I don't like it, "that kiss...was it important to you?"
He doesn't speak, we sit in awkward silence.
"Yes," James looks away with embarrassment. For some weird reason, I pity him. I see dark blush appear on his cheeks, but it was barely noticeable, "Did you come here to taunt me about it? Are you going to tell the school that I'm gay? Is that why you came?" Tears from in his eyes. Slowly they fall down his cheek.
"Why would I do that?" I would never do those things, since I'm gay and that's a horrible thing to do.
"I-It's not the first time it's happened," James wipers his tears with his sweater and coughs, "It's the main reason I transferred 3 years ago," He frowned and walked back inside, fuck no.
"W-Wait," I step closer, but he pushes me away.
"I get it! I'm gay and pathetic! Now can you just g-"
"It was important to me too," He stops and stares at me, and I instantly regret what I said, "I'm sorry if you didn't want it,"
I felt kinda humiliated, I've never felt like that before, out of shame and turned to walk away. Suddenly I feel arms wrap around my chest.
I stop moving, I was to nervous to look back.
James buried his face into my back and mumbled something.
"Listen, I know I overreacted and I'm sorry," James let's go of my and I look back, "I'm just used to people using me,"
I felt like asking him what he meant by people using him, but I figured it was personal.
He wanted me to stay longer, but I declined. I just buy came to clear things up, and I felt like having some time to myself.
I walk inside my house and reach into my bedside drawer. Carefully I grab the plastic bag and sit down on my bed.
I roll up the marijuana and smoke. Nobody knows I do this, expect for the people I buy it from. To be honest, I never knew I had an addiction till I was too far into it. I'm 17, I can't exactly tell people I smoke weed, but the rumors pay up for that.
Afterwards I eat Oreos with peanut butter. My phone rings loudly and buzzes. I ignore it and collapse onto the couch and sleep.
(Sorry for not updating in awhile -.-; I was sick! Again. *cough* and was totally not binge watching Sailor Moon also *cough*)