The Boy Who Lived A Bit [Snarry]

Chapter Sixteen

In no time at all, the Grimmauld kitchen had become a War Room. Potter and Lupin cleared the table so that Albus and Minerva could spread out various maps and pieces of interesting parchment. Potter's house elf friend kept up a steady supply of hot beverages and sugary treats as different Order members flooed in and out of the house over the course of the evening.

Snape was too agitated to sit down for long. Despite the effectiveness of his pain relief potion, the Dark Mark still blazed sufficiently for him to notice it. Only once before, had Snape ever felt the Mark be this incendiary, and that had been during the first war – just prior to its climax. He pulled his hipflask out of his robes and downed about half its contents in one gulp. Twice in one lifetime was enough for anyone, surely?

A warmth by his side brought Snape's gaze down to Potter's. Silently, he offered the boy the hipflask.

'No, thanks.'

'Suit yourself, Potter.'

Companionably, they leaned against the kitchen wall and watched as first Molly and Arthur Weasley and then Tonks and Moody filled Dumbledore in on what events had rocked their days. A brief and inept attack on a Muggle school near Cardiff, the disappearance of a Squib shopkeeper in Dagenham, the Dark Mark burning over a churchyard on the Derbyshire moors... So much of it seemed random and unrelated. Snape suspected it had all been done in no other name but that of Chaos; Death Eaters attacking anywhere and everywhere, so as to hide or decoy their real objective.

'What was it like?'

'Hm? Pardon?'

He looked down at the boy again, realising for perhaps the first time that he didn't really have to look all that far down anymore. How had Potter managed to grow taller without him noticing?

'I, um, was asking you what it was like...'

'What was what like?'

'You know. Being one of them? Being a Death Eater.'

'Why are you suddenly interested?'

Potter shrugged. 'S'not that sudden, really. Just never had the...'

'Balls?'

Green eyes flashed. '...the guts to ask.' Smirk.

Snape sighed, watching all the heads around the kitchen table bent together in intense discussion. 'It was. Both horrific and remarkable at the same time.'

'How?'

'Well, I'm sure you can make some guesses with regard the "horrific" parts.' The messy head beside him nodded a little. 'And beyond that, I really have no wish to elucidate you further. Suffice to say, I have seen... and done... some things I dearly wish I hadn't. And that I dearly wish I could forget.'