This Isn't Insanity

Chapter Four

That time of slumber when you realize that you are actually dreaming is just as scary as that falling feeling. And what makes it worse is that you can really feel everything. Well I can.

The burning sensation traveled up my arms and onto my chest as I struggled to get away from the demon holding me down and searing me. When I finally pulled free I ran but my feet felt like they were upon sharp broken knives. I heard a roar from behind me but didn't turn my head, just keep running. Suddenly whatever it was grabbed my hair and pulled me back. I screamed letting tears stream down my Cheeks. The demon grabbed my face and spun me around, breathing on my face with it's nasty breath. Then it stoped its roaring and whipped it's head around as a banging noise started erupting from somewhere. It growled then dropped me. The manifestation faded away along with the hellish setting, until I realized I was awake and sitting up in my bed. Hair messed around my head, soaking with sweat, tears running down my face, and shaking. I panted heavily and listened for the banging. It had stopped. I countinued hyperventalating as I stood up and looked in the mirror, still clenching my Simba stuffed animal my grandfather had given me when I was five.

The girl in the mirror had dark bags under her eyes and I seemed to glow in the low light. I was a mess. I looked dead. I jumped back and fell to the floor letting out a scream. In the mirror behind my reflection was the firey orange and black demon. The banging began again with hushed stern voices tingled with panic. I was still frozen as the figure countinued to swivel it's head around my room. The voices and banging got louder and the figure disapeared. I sat panting on the ground as my bedroom door was flung open and my light was flicked on.

I turned around and looked up at my brother and Gerard who looked at me woridly. Great, Just great going Faun. Show how freakish you are.

"Fauna! What the hell happened are you okay?" Frank said rushing over to me and holding out a hand to help me up. I just shook my head and looked around nervously, avoiding any eye contact with Gerard. He totally thinks you are a freak now! I bit my lip and looked down. Then I noticed my arms and legs were an orangish burnt color and I jumped back examining my arms and running my hand down my legs.

"What's wrong?" Gerard said walking over to me and Frank. Frank looked at me weirldy.

"Why are you doing that?" He asked squinting his eyes a bit.

I Ran over to my shelf and pulled out a sketch book and quickly drew the creature wrapped in flames laughing at a girl on the floor. In fact the figure had the same shape as the shadow figure in my drawing from yesterday night! I held it up and showed them both. They both took it and looked at it with wide eyes.

Look what it did to me!

"What do you mean? You're perfectly fine." Frank said picking up my arm that I was holding out. Suddenly the marks left by the fire disappeared. I covered my face and began to cry. This was too crazy.

NO! I'm not fine! I keep seeing this demon thing, I keep feeling real pain from my dreams and I don't fucking talk! That is not the definition of fine.

"Faun! There is not a single thing wrong with you!" Frank argued back.

Everything is wrong with me!

"Dammit Fauna I-"

"I don't see anything wrong with you. All I see is something unique, something beautiful and rare, and talented, and different. And that's all okay." Gerard cut off Frank. I raised my head to look at him. It's only because there's something wrong with me, that's why he's acting so nice.

I stayed silent.

"It's true." Gerard said not taking his hazel eyes off of mine. I stared back. I then shook my head and layed back down and pulled the blankets around me. Frank shook his head and walked out muttering something about not understanding. Gerard stayed for a minute and looked down then back at me.

"You're going to be okay. I'll be sure of that." He smiled quickly then hurried out of my room closing the door and flipping the lights off. My chest tightened and I realized, I just met this kid and he wants to help the un-helpable. I closed my eyes with his voice still fresh in my mind and drifted into an uneasy sleep once more.

7:59:02. my clock read as I rolled my read to look at my clock. Any minute now Mom will be awoken, making breakfast for the four of us. I rubbed my eyes but continued to listen to my surroundings.

Eight o'clock wandered by and I realized it must be a work day for mom. I had heard no noises coming from her room and no smells of breakfast materials. She hasn't worked for a long time but I guess for the next month or two since Frank was back for a short while, she was going back to her part time job at the library. I sat up and stretched, destroying the crick in my neck. So much for my no night terror streak of three.

The girl in the mirror still resembled that of a walking skeleton and I sighed inwardly. I picked up a brush and dragged it through my dark locks. I stared at myself suddenly getting pulled into that trance where you can't stop looking at something and you can't think straight, it's a miniature seizer, from what I've searched and read and I was pretty used to them by now.

Some talking erupted from downstairs yanking me out of my trance and scaring me half to death, making me drop my brush and watch it clatter to the floor. I picked it up and set it back down on the desk. I pressed my ear up against my door and listened.

"What do you want to eat?"

"I don't care, What I do care about is coffee. Got any of that?"

I snickered. I love coffee too.

"Hell yeah, that's all Faun drinks so we probably have loads of it."

There was silence.

"I know I've just met her but, I just really want to help her. Listen promise you won't tell her this alright?" I heard Gerard's muffled voice.

"Okay. I won't. What is it?" Frank replied.

"She's beautiful, she's smart, she's artistic. She's a lot of things that I can't explain. She just seems so lost and alone and I just want to be there for her. I like her a lot. I've just met her but, she means a lot to me." Gerard said. I froze. No way that just fucking happened. My face heated up and a smiled glued itself onto my face.

"Listen, dude you're my best friend, but do you know how many of my friends have said that about her and its normally only because she's... You know..." frank said and I could picture him shaking his head and sighing.

"But, I see so much else in her."

"She likes you too." Frank replied. "She told me."

FUCK YOU FRANK.

I wanted to slam my fist against the wall or door or mirror or something. Anything. Now I'm insane and creepy and-

"Really?" Gerard said sounding surprised. There was silence so I guess Frank nodded.

"Listen I won't interfere, get close to her or whatever but, she's still my sister and I won't be afraid to beat your head in with a baseball bat if something happens." Frank said.

"I won't hurt her." He responded after a minute, or what felt like it, of silence.

"Well then why don't you go wake the sleeping beauty then? She'll be upset if we eat without her." Frank and Gerard laughed.

I suddenly heard heavy footsteps and backed away quickly and fell into my bed pulling the covers around me and closing my eyes, acting like I never heard a thing. I heard a light squeak as my door opened then a light chuckle. Something poked my ribs and I jumped up, twisting and laughing.

"Sorry! Frank's making breakfast, C'mon." Gerard grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I raced down the stairs ahead of him and slid into the kitchen in my fuzzy socks.

"I guess you're feeling better then you were at three in the morning earlier." Frank said smiling at me. I nodded.

"Good." Gerard replied messing with the coffee maker.

Frank looked at me through the corner of his eye. I made sure Gerard wasn't looking before I squinted at him an shook my head. Frankie raised an eyebrow at me, I responded with a half nod. Like I stated, he knew and understood me and at that moment just now I told him I heard him. He looked back at Gerard then me and mouthed:

"I know."