Before She Falls

Chapter 20

I quickly send Mark a text message back, even though his text was sent to me about an hour and a half ago.

To: Mark Hunting

What are you talking about? All we did was sleep next to each other.

Right? I ask my myself. My memory is usually pretty keen. I don't remember anything happening between us. I passed out in a random bedroom soon after Mark told me to stay at that stupid party. Then I woke up and Mark was sleeping right next to me. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if he cuddled up next to me after I fell asleep but I don't remember waking up or doing anything with Mark that night. My anxiety heightens as a chime sounds from my phone.

From: Mark Hunting

Things went a lot past us sleeping together, Kat lol... How do you not remember?

What the fuck?

To: Mark Hunting

I'm sorry, but what the fuck happened that was so memorable that I don't remember?

I would send him an apology for my angry text, but I didn't think it's necessary. What the hell happened and how did I not realize or have any memory of it?

From: Mark Huntin

Nothing crazy, calm down. We made out and you offered to give me a bj

To: Mark Hunting

And?

From: Mark Hunting

You think I said no to you?

I feel a pit in my stomach and it eventually fades away as I continue to read his texts over again a fourth time. I still feel completely gross inside. How was I even that drunk that I didn't remember doing something like that?

To: Mark Hunting

You're sick

He's knows I haven't been too fond of him after we broke up. We're not together anymore because of him, well because he's a dick. And the fact that I did that last night, if I even did...who knows Mark could be making this all up, makes me feel sick to my stomach. He didn't even try to stop the situation. He damn well knows I would have refused to do anything if I was sober. I probably would have avoided him entirely that night if I hadn't been drinking.

From: Mark Hunting

You're really going to be at me for something that you did?

To: Mark Hunting

Fuck you

From: Mark Hunting

I didn't make you do it, stop making me sound like the bad guy here.

I decide not to answer his idiotic messages anymore. I feel so mad at myself. How did I let that happen? For the most part, I never let alcohol get the best of me. Trust me, I have my bad nights , or should I say good nights, but I've always been able to handle myself, no matter what.

My stomach starts to hurt when I think of Harry. I know we weren't even together or anything like that but I still feel guilty for it. He's been so sweet to me and that's what I do. I blow my ex-boyfriend while I'm piss drunk and no one is there to stop me, not even myself.

To: Vanessa Cohan

Guess what yours truly apparently did at Brian's party

Although I feel ashamed and pretty fucking embarrassed, I have to tell someone of my unfathomable actions. And who better to tell than your best friend?

From: Vanessa Cohan

You blew Mark, Jessica and Rachel just texted me about it

To: Vanessa Cohan

Great, fucking awesome

From: Vanessa Cohan

They said they both saw you pull Mark into the bedroom...

I couldn't wait to go back to college in after the summer ends. These girls from my graduating class in high school fucking suck. They're always in everyone's business and they never let a party go by without stirring something up. But that's what keeps it interesting right?

To: Vanessa Cohan

Wtf

From: Vanessa Cohan

Are you going to tell Harry?

To: Vanessa Cohan

Wasn't planning on it

I couldn't even think about Harry right now. I'm still in shock that somehow I managed to put myself in that situation. Somehow I was the one who pulled Mark into the bedroom and somehow I was the one who asked him if I could do it.

But I have to own up to my shit. I couldn't be mad at Mark for this. I could hate him for him just being one of the biggest assholes I've ever met but I can't be mad at him for this one.

Do I have to tell Harry? Is that like a rule that if you like someone for a couple of days and then you blow somebody else within those couple of days you have to tell the person you like about it? That doesn't sound like its a rule.

Maybe I could just forget it ever happened. I mean if I keep it a secret, no one else is going to tell him, therefore he never finds out. My phone chimes from its downward position on my bed.

From: 717-938-4677

Hiiii Kat, it's Harry :)

Shit. You've got to be fucking kidding me.