I'm hating losing you and it has only been two hours. Ill be honest. It was unrealistic. But it was what I was counting on. Ill admit. The last 6 months have been crap. My self esteem has been dropping 5 pegs everyday. But you were my escape.
For the first time it felt like it was real. The first person who legitimately loved me, and didn't want to just get in my pants. You were the first person that I said "I love you" to. And every time you said it back mattered. But this was the week I needed you the most. I was never unloyal. I didn't cheat. I didn't form any new crushes. And I tried to push down the ones I had. But one kept bobbing to the surface. But he asked my friend out Thursday. Although I have been patiently waiting on him for 7 years. But I was too loyal for him. So now instead of feeling heartbroken, I feel like an idiot.
This isn't sonekind of tape or whatever. My friends found this. And then they tear me apart for it, the fact that I don't write like others, and that I don't numb my emotions. And then they taunt me.
I've tried to not say anything. I'm probably not going to say anything tommorow because then they'll think I'm going to kill myself or something and then my parents find out and then they will gather around me and tell me I'm valuable or whatever. Which they contradict themselves. Because if I was truly valuable to them, they wouldn't treat me like shit.
And so here I sit, crying over spilt milk. But spilt milk I cared about.
