Uniquely Normal (boyxBoy)

Chapter 9- Ben

Exert from my Romance Novel- Burning Queers.

by: Ben Callistan

Dedicated to Ryder.

 I'm in love with him.

He never leaves my mind, he's always there; mentally if not physically. It's just incomprehensible. He's my one stable force, my one stability in a world filled with chaos and I so desperately need that in my life. I love him so much for that. I'm in love with him and I can't believe I've only just realized it.

This feeling is so strange; it stretches throughout my whole body. It's overwhelming, yet makes me feel complete. It has no bound nor length nor depth; it's just absolute. It feels as though I'm in a dangerous fire, yet I'm completely safe at the same time. It feels as though someone's given me peace. It feels as though my heart is dancing around my chest; and a hole, I was never aware was there, has been filled. I feel so light, like I'm on top of the world yet my heart is constricting and it feels as if there's no oxygen in my lungs.

 His hand reaches for mine and they interlock as we kiss tentatively, passionately and then, tenderly. He pulls the thick wool sweater up, over my head and I feel the little sparks of static dancing over my skin. I'm not sure whether they're from my sweater or if they're from where his hands gently skimmed my skin; either way, it's a magical feeling and causes me to shiver in complete pleasure and ecstasy.

His lips press against mine with passion, love, and affection as his warm hands roam all over my naked body leaving a trail of sparks in their wake.

"You're so beautiful." He whispers so I feel his warm breath in my ear. I wrinkle my nose in protest.

"Shut up and kiss me." I whisper back.

His lips gently brush mine and I smell his minty breath as our naked bodies press together. He slowly massages my chest as we kiss, causing me to arch my back and moan softly into his mouth. I roll my head to the side, my chest rising and falling dramatically under his influence. He smiles into the kiss as my fingers tug at his short hair and my other hand scratches at his back.

"Ryder, I love you" I whisper as our eyes make contact.  

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"Stupid friend fics" I say as I crumple the piece of paper. "that'll never happen." 

And it wont. I wish it could, But me and Ryder will never be a thing. Most people would call this "love at first sight" thing I have creepy, but I have a reason. It's kind of abstract, but I may have lied a little.

This isn't my first time being here in German Valley, It's my second time coming here. I was living here in German as a 2nd grader. I left German when I was in 5th grade, for reasons I would not like to discuss...

but that's why i liked him-- mind you, I think he's subconsciously catching on... or not. I dont know at this point. When we were just little kids, We had a thing... and he knew it too. We liked each other, and i wasn't stupid. I caught on, I got his little flirtatious, and cute ways of him telling me he liked me. I guess he just forgot about me. and that hurts a lot actually.  I wouldn't expect you- reader, to connect.

Once again my emotions turn jagged and my insides tight. I cry out to those in reach, "I love you, please help me. Come sit with me; hold my hand. Eat chips with me. Call me friend. Look into my eyes, connect, because I'm falling."   

I lay in my bed, trying to suppress my tears, and clutching onto a little framed, crumpled piece of paper.

I look at it through stary eyes.

"Benny." I shakily read it. "I think I really like you?" 

It was a cute little note on a post-it from little 4th grader Ryder. He was so cute. The way his hair was combed to the side, and his little neon power ranger shirts he always had on. I remember everything with flying colors.

I was the only person he really trusted, and he would give me his only brownie in his lunch box everyday. His mom's brownies were the best. I remember they always had crushed, and salted pecans in them. No brownie in the world could compare. They were absolutely delicious.

I giggled slightly. I'd just have to wait wont I?

"Wont I.." i solemnly whispered. Suddenly, I got interrupted, and ripped out of the little pity sesh i was going through because of my sister.

"Dinner's ready!"

I didn't even notice the slow creeping scent op pasta and fresh bread in my  room. It's smelled like heaven had just hit me.

I creeped off my bed and bounded downstairs.

Nothing to special to eat. It was just some traditional ramen, with two soft boiled eggs, and green onions. The beautiful noodles, swimmed around (well not litterally) in the chicken broth. let me tell you, it smelled amazing.

I took a deep whiff in, and out.

"wow." I softly said. "thanks sis, this smells amazing!"

"No problem, Benny." she winked.

So, there we were, eating, sitting down at the table, it was 9:15 pm, and me and my sister were making small talk. nothing too important to discuss, just the usual questions;

How was your day?

How are you?

How was your fist day?

She dropped out of school, she thought that school wasn't her thing, now she's a waiter at the nearest burger place... making a good living.

I yawned loud.

"Well," I started. "I think Im off to bed.." 

"alright." she smiled, rubbing the bandage on her arm from the burn.

"goodnight."

I bounded to my room, lifted the covers on my bed, and jumped in. Instantly I was hit with the feeling of sleepiness, from the warm, and toasty covers above me. I grabbed my phone, and texted Ryder.

"goodnight :)"

A couple seconds later he texted back. 

"goodnight Benny"

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