Criminal Mentality || L x Reader x Light

Chapter 11: Comfort

Chapter 11: Comfort

After L and I ordered a large box of cake, we decided to stay for a little while and talk about the Kira Case. Kira was strangely calm these past days, this caused us to become even more cautious than before.

Could this be the calm before the storm?

I immediately slumped down on the couch the moment we got back to the headquarters. The task force had a day-off today. That means I can't bug L and Light about how they destined they are, how tragic~.

"My suspicions of Light had raised... (Name), please be cautious when you are with him. Do not forget that he's still a suspect." L suddenly spoke out of nowhere, you opened your eyes and sat back up. He was facing the other direction so you couldn't see his face. 

"I know that. But L, whenever I'm with him, I get a feeling that his personalities are changing. One minute, his eyes are filled with kindness and maturity, innocence and pride...

Yet the other, his eyes are getting clouded with insanity, with madness... I-i don't know. After all, maybe I'm just imagining this."

"Don't shrug off your suspicions, most of the time, despite how strange they are, they can be true... (Name)... A lot of people are already siding with Kira..."

"Are his doings right? Is he really justice?"

My eyes widened in surprise, my head immediately snapped to where he is. "L, is it that easy to lose resolve?"

"It's not that. Believe me. It's just, I can't fully understand why so many people are siding with him. A mass murderer, a hypocrite."

"If you were to ask me what justice really is, I may have had second thoughts, or I may have just answered with something half-assed. 

But with this, I am very confident in my answer. Kira is not justice. He's only giving what other people want, he's feeding their ignorance with blinding hypocrisy and childish perceptions. L, even if the world plans to fight you, even if everyone doesn't believe you... Stand. Stand for what you believe is right. So what if everyone thinks that Kira is justice? It doesn't mean that it's right."

"It seems like I was wrong about you, (Name)."

"Then it's good that you were able to find that out."

"I have another question to ask if you do not mind."

"Don't make it any stupider than the last one.

"Why are you here, struggling, to catch Kira? Putting yourself on the front lines? It is not like you..."

I let a soft smile make its way onto my lips. Looking out the large window, I stared at the busy street below. 

"Because there is something I need to fight for, there is something I need to protect."

"Is it, or is it not, your comrades?"

"...What do you mean, L?"

"You are the black queen, am I correct?"

I tilted my head in confusion, my heart pounded heavily. How did he know? And where is this leading to?

"If I must say..." I trailed off, carrying myself in front of a large window. Staring at my own reflection. Should I? Or should I not...?

Either way, he knows.

"You are right. I am the black queen."

"Given the circumstances. I am pretty sure Kira is also a senior high-school student, that graduated, and became a college student..."

"Where is this leading to?" I asked, trying to ignore the thoughts overflowing my brain.

"And concerning the eyes of the law. The Black Queen is a criminal who is untrustworthy, and one who will use any means to do what she has to. A college student and a determined criminal, do you see the resemblance, Ms. (Last Name)?"

"You suspect me..."

"Yes, I do. I suspect you, as Kira. And even if you are not, you have something to do with it."

I thought to myself, that when the moment comes and he suspects me not just as the black queen, yet also as the mass murderer Kira, I will be ready to face whatever words he tells me. I thought I would be able to handle the situation if it ever comes to that.

But even queens are not perfect.

I did realize so, when tears started forming in my eyes. L was staring at me with wide, calculating hues as he saw my crying reflection. It was pathetic... I was crying? Over this?

Who would've thought that those simple words can make my heart hurt.

"With all those years we've spent together, the stories we told and the moments we created, I thought you were at least going to trust me with this. Weren't we ever friends at all?"

Frowning, I walked out of the headquarters as soon as I heard his response. 

"No. We weren't."

L's POV

What is with me, and my unsocialized animalistic nature, that drove me into saying those words?

What is with me, that my cold monstrous heart, felt like it was being stabbed?

I stared at her passing figure. Surely, I would have felt no regret. To cut off our ties is a necessary means in order to let the investigation run smoothly. Acting on emotional impulse and personal connections may lead our investigation a failure.

That is the manner of being a detective. 

Yet why did it hurt, why did I feel like my heart was shattering, when she looked at me with eyes of pain? Eyes of disbelief? Weren't I, the greatest detective in the world, one that pushed aside his own feelings for the sake of justice, supposed to be unaffected?

It was nothing but a necessary move for me to do.

And it wounded me. 

Truly, to be a detective, to be hiding under a mask, to be considered as one of the greatest, is a long torturous process I have to endure. 

L, an armchair detective who will use any means to create any circumstances. L, a monster that hides, a coward that lies. L, a selfish man who, in the eyes of the law, had broken the rules himself. 

That is me.

After all,

There are many types of monsters in this world,

Monsters who cause trouble without showing themselves,

Monsters who abduct children,

Monsters who devour dreams,

Monsters who suck blood,

And monsters who always tell lies.

To defeat a monster, I must be willing to throw aside a part or even a whole of my humanity. Because even if it means that I shall become a monster myself to defeat it. I shall. 

For this is only a payment of what I have to offer.

And a fragment of what I have to do, in order to protect something that is precious to me.

_____________________________________________

Important: This is, after all, a romantic story. A love adventure. Something like that.

So please, do not be surprised if you are the motivation to L's works, or to Light's doings. Because love makes you do things you wouldn't normally do. It creates motivation and causes change. 

Sometimes it leaves when it's done, shows when it's needed or stays forever.

I am sorry for any OOC Characteristics of L, it is very hard to create his POV.