Criminal Mentality || L x Reader x Light

Chapter 17: Lifted Burden (1/2)

If I May Shed Away My Burden Now

My face should've reacted,  I should've let out a gasp, I should've screamed,  a reaction should've been anticipated. 

I thought finding out Kira's identity was my goal until now? 

Was the death of someone like my comrade that much indifferent to me that... That what I found out today, doesn't stir something like a plan of revenge? 

I should've been fired up, I should've been smirking and planning the great plan to expose Light, but instead I felt guilty of not feeling what I'm supposed to be feeling. 

How old am I again? Are teenage hormones still lingering inside me?

It felt like my energy was gone, the erratic beating of my heart was no more.

I quickly sent a grateful reply to Hanji and closed my laptop. Standing up, I walked to the other room, where L and the others are. I sat on the couch and placed my laptop down, looking at the task force who's reading files, doing paperwork and watching clips in front of me. 

My eyes darted to Light who was discussing something with L. From a distance, they looked like two excellent detectives who solves hard cases and mysteries together. An undefeatable duo of the detective world.

They looked like friends. 

I smiled sadly, thinking back to all the complex things surrounding them. How one is a top-excellent detective, and the other is a behind-the-screen mass murderer. How one grew up from an orphanage, with no experience of a society-based-normal childhood and the other was a college student that grew up from a happy, and probably average home. How split personalities might have been haunting them up to now.

Looking at all of their differences, a friendship between them seems unlikely, but one similarity that made them clash is the fact that they are fighting for justice.

Death,  (the insignificant character whom I,  as a failed and a pathetic excuse for an "author", didn't even get a chance to achieve an average character development)

I'm sorry, but I can't expose Kira yet.

A ton of guilt hit me, how come this is what came out of everything? How come I can't get revenge for a comrade I had for years now?  What the hell is stopping me?

I furrowed my eyebrows, my lips stretching into a frown, I didn't even notice that L and Light already noticed me staring, not until they were in front of me, one was waving a hand in front of me,  calling out my name back to reality. 

I snapped, looking up with wide eyes. There, in my own little world, a few spare seconds gave me the chance to realize why I didn't want to expose Light for what he has done.

Maybe I was being sentimental, or silly, or perhaps both.  But if there was ever a chance that Light could become a detective working -not under- but alongside L,  if there was ever a chance that L could let in a new friend into his life, if there was ever a chance that Light is different from Kira,  then maybe, just maybe,  I could let it happen. 

If Kira is something— no,  someone,  that formed from Light's broken pieces,

Then maybe I could be a good person for once, and save Light from the void that is Kira. 

"Sorry!  I was just daydreaming!" I replied, smiling brightly at the two people in front of me. L sighed,  telling me to -basically- stand my ass up and work.

Author's note brought to you by...  GUILTY AF AUTHOR!  YAY!
Hi! I'm cutting in the middle of the story!

This is the section where your opinions should be placed! I have a plan in mind, or rather,  I HAD a plan in mind, but my stupid self didn't write it and forgot about it an hour later,  so now,  this turned out like shit! Yaaay!

I'm trying. I'm really trying to put my mind back into making stories again, it seems that the past month had been too hectic for me—or my mind palace,  with all my crap going on.

I wanted to update now,  and right now, at this moment. So I shall return back to my mind palace for now, after bringing you what seems to be a very crappy first part of Chapter 17!

My left arm hurts, I can't type everything I want to say,  T^T