Stay, markson AU (complete)

여덟

Yugyeom (WARNING)

"Jinyoung please pick up" I begged, although he couldn't here me.

"Please, please" I was crying again. I had been very emotional for the past few weeks and finally seeing Mark in his condition had made me more upset.

"Hi you've reached Jinyoung, sorry I can't come to the phone-" I hung up, he had been ignoring my calls and texts for the past 24 hours and I had gotten to used to hearing that voice mail message.

"Jinyoung, please" the tears coming too fast, I texted the older boy that I needed his help just to be left on read.

It should of been you.

Who said that?

You were the one who was meant to be injured maybe you should just injure yourself to make up for it.

There was nobody around me, could I be hearing things.

Just kill yourself already, nobody wants you around anymore just look at Jinyoung.

Or was it all in my head?

He's obviously ignoring you, he doesn't want you around anymore.. nobody does.

Maybe I should listen to the negative voices in my head, maybe I was better off gone.

No one would even notice you weren't around, no one cares.

They're right.

I stumbled into the bathroom after the fight with myself and opened up the medicine cabinet. Which medication looks strong enough to end it all? Ah my old anti-depressants, maybe if I took enough the voices would stop? Maybe if I ended it I wouldn't have to see the sympathetic looks on other people's faces when they heard the news about Mark, or when they heard that I blamed myself for all of it. Maybe if I killed myself, Jackson would be happy, put myself into Marks shoes I was the one who was meant to be in a comatose state not Mark.

"It was suppose to be me, why does life have to go this way!?" I questioned allowed to nobody seeming as I was alone, besides my thoughts of course.

Just do it already, what's taking you so long? Nobody is going to miss you- no one!

My thoughts became more aggressive, egging me on to end my own life. I should do it before Bambam comes home, I had moved back in to our shared appartment once Jinyoung had attacked me.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I looked horrible, the bags under my eyes had worsened, there was a slight shadow around my face and my hair was a complete mess.

I ended up punching the mirror breaking the sight in front of me, my hand bleeding, glass shattered, pieces laying around me. Not so carefully I moved away from the sink now not caring if I stepped on any glass. I took a seat on the edge of the bathtub and uncapped the bottle of pills.

It's now or never.

Do it already.

I complied with the thoughts clouding my brain. I took a handful off pills and placed them in my mouth using my hand as a cap to swallow the pills easier along with some water.

Once I had taken most of the bottle, my head began feeling lighter, I felt dizzy and my stomach felt nauseous. I looked up and heard faint footsteps and the calling out of my name, too dazed to recognize who the voice belonged too.

Then I saw black as I collapsed on the floor.

•••
AN; sorry