beauty behind the madness | the weeknd

12

Rose

The next week, I walk along the school hallways. I feel everyone's eyes on me, but I keep my head down. 

I start walking faster until I get to Tesfaye's classroom. I push open the door and he turns around to look. When he notices it's me, he smiles. "You're here early," he tells me. 

I look at my watch and then smile. "I'm only five minutes early," I say to him and he grins.

"How are you?" Tesfaye asks.

I nod my head. "Well, if everyone stopped staring at me, I'd feel much better," I tell him, flopping down on my seat.

He looks at me with a sympathetic expression. "Don't worry, everyone will stop staring," he says and I nod, staying silent. "So, how was your meeting?" I frown, not understanding. "The support group?" 

"Oh!" I say. "It was fine. Good." I don't really know what to say, to be honest. It's not like I had fun or anything. I had to introduce myself and explain when my addiction begun, how it begun, why I was even at the meeting. Tesfaye doesn't ask any more questions, which I'm thankful for. "Um, when will I get the extra tuition classes?"

"That depends," Tesfaye answers, "When do you want them?"

I chew my lip, thinking. I really don't want them, but I've decided that I will because funnily enough, I want to do well and go off to college, unlike before. "After school?" I suggest and then sigh. "But the thing is, I don't want to be here. At school."

Tesfaye nods. "Okay," he says. He bites down on his bottom lip, thinking. "Would you want to come to my house for them, then?"

That caught me off guard. When I'm about to open my mouth to speak, the room starts swarming with students. My heart is thumping and my throat feels dry. Did Tesfaye really just invite me over to his house? Isn't that a little weird? 

The whole lesson, I contemplate whether or not I should accept his offer. The thing is I don't want to be at school - even if I've missed two weeks - so maybe I should go?

By the end of the lesson, when everyone's left the room, I walk over to his desk, feeling nervous. "Um," I start to say uncertainly. "What time should I be at your house?"

Tesfaye looks shocked and then smiles. "Five?" he asks.

"Okay," I say. "See you then."

At five o'clock, I knock on Tesfaye's door. The last time I was here was when I had to give him those stupid cupcakes my mum brought for him. After a minute, he answers the door.

"Hey," he says, smiling. "Come in." He swings the door open and I walk past him. My arm slightly brushes against his and I try to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. I follow him to the living room. I look around in shock. It's actually nice - especially for a guy. He sits at the table, which has books out on it and I join him. 

"So, have I missed out on a lot?" I ask, letting out a groan.

Tesfaye laughs. "I wouldn't say a lot," he says, smiling. "But don't worry, you'll be caught up."

I nod and then my eye catches sight of a photo. "Is that your mum?" I ask, nodding towards the photo. 

Tesfaye follows my gaze. "Yeah," he says, smiling at it. 

"And what about your dad?" I ask, curious to know.

"He left when I was young," Tesfaye answers. "I haven't seen him since. He has another family."

"Oh." I bite my lip, feeling bad for asking. 

"Okay," Tesfaye says. "Let's catch you up."  He spends the next hour going through questions and helping me answer them. He goes over anything that I don't understand.

My head starts to hurt and I rub at my temples, trying to get rid of the pain. "Um," I say, getting up. "I think I've had enough for the day. I should go."

"Wait!" Tesfaye says, catching my hand. "Just stay a bit longer? We can just talk."

I look at him, considering it. My mum won't be home until late at night and I kind of don't want to be alone. "Okay," I finally agree, sitting back down. I feel a little awkward, I don't know why.

"How was your first day back?" Tesfaye wants to know.

I shrug. "Okay, I guess," I say. "It would've been better if no one stared at me, though." 

"How could they not?" I hear Tesfaye mumble. 

I look up at him and notice that he's staring at me. I shake my head, smiling to myself. "You should really stop that," I tell him. 

"Stop what?" he asks.

"The staring," I reply.

"How am I supposed to do that?" he mumbles. "You're beautiful." I shake my head and feel him cradle my cheek. He makes me look him in the eye. "I'm really glad you're trying to get better."

"Me too," I whisper. "I just keep thinking that I could've been dead and -"

"Don't think like that," Tesfaye tells me softly. "Please. I can't stand to hear it."

"Why?" I question.

"Because I care about you, Rose," he says. He leans closer to me, closing the space between us. I suck in my breath. He's inches away from my face now and our noses are touching.

"We shouldn't do this," I whisper.

"We really shouldn't," he agrees.

And then we're kissing.