beauty behind the madness | the weeknd

30

1 week later

Rose

I smile as I watch Abel sleep from beside me. He looks so peaceful. I kiss his cheek before getting out of bed to shower. 

After I've showered, I go downstairs to the kitchen and put the kettle on. As I wait for the water to boil, I feel Abel's arms snake around my waist. I smile to myself when he kisses my shoulder. "Good morning, beautiful," he says against my wet hair. "I see you showered without me." He moves my hair back and kisses my neck. 

I turn around and put my arms around his neck, leaning up to peck his lips and then his chest. He's only wearing boxers. "I didn't want to wake you," I tell him. "You look very cute when you sleep." I pinch his cheek softly and he grins.

Abel picks me up, causing me to squeal. He places me on top of the counter and kisses me, running his hands all over my bare thighs. I wrap my legs around him tightly and pull him closer. I start kissing his neck and I feel his hands crawl up my thighs. "Hmm, not wearing any underwear, I see," Abel says against my neck. His hand moves up higher, until it reaches my bare chest. He squeezes at my breasts, causing a moan to slip out my mouth. I attack his lips again, slipping in my tongue. I move one hand down his chest to the bulge in his pants and start rubbing. I feel him grow instantly hard and he deepens the kiss even more. I pull away, trying to catch my breath and look into his eyes. I lick my lips.

"I love you," I tell him, stroking his beard.

Abel looks back at me, frozen. He doesn't say anything. He just stares back at me for what feels like forever. "Rose," he says.

My heart drops. "You don't feel the same way, do you?" I ask sadly and he looks back at me with a guilty look. I bite my lip. "Will you ever?" 

Abel doesn't say anything for a while. "I don't know," he finally admits and the tears threaten to spill out of my eyes.

I push him away from me and jump off the counter. "So, what is all this to you?" I ask, motioning between the two of us with my hands. "Just a bit of fun?"

"Rose," Abel says.

"Is that all you can say?" I snap. "My mum was right - you are a predator. You just used me."

"That's not true!" Abel protests.

"Have these past three months just been a lie?" I snap. "Do you even care about me? Have you just been using me for sex?" Abel doesn't say anything, which just causes me to get even more mad. I hit his chest. "Answer me, Abel!" I continue to hit at his chest as the tears start streaming down my face.

Abel grabs my hands to stop me from hitting him. "I do care about you, Rose," he says. "A lot. I just don't . . . I just don't love you." I start to walk away from him. "Rose, don't walk away from what we have!"

I spin around, feeling my blood boil. "What do we have, exactly, Abel?" I snap. 

Abel walks up to me and holds my face, making me look him in the eye. "A good relationship," he answers. "Just because I don't love you doesn't mean you have to walk away."

I laugh bitterly to myself. "How can I be with someone that doesn't love me?" I ask, sniffing. I try to wipe the tears away, but they just keep falling. When Abel doesn't say anything, I run up the stairs and quickly put my jeans on. I feel him behind me, watching, but I don't turn around to look. I grab my bag and start to walk out the door, but he grabs hold of me and pulls me back.

"Don't leave," Abel says softly. "Please."

"How can I not leave, Abel?" I whisper. My vision goes blurry from the tears. "I love you, but you don't love me. How is that fair?" I yank my arm back and go downstairs. When I reach the door, I look back at him standing at the top of the stairs. He looks so sad and lost, but not as sad as what I'm feeling. I have to walk away from the first love of my life. Knowing that I wasted the last three months with him makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach. Why did I get involved with him? Deep down, I knew he'd hurt me. This is the reason why I never dated anybody - because I knew they'd hurt me, just like how Abel has. Abel stays silent, watching me. "Goodbye, Abel."