If the Sun refused to Shine: The Story of Lily Maria Page

Chapter 5: I know

The knocks echoed through the house, silencing the laughter. Then they came again. And again. Each time getting louder and faster. Lily sat up and broke from her father's embrace and ran out the door, and flew down the stairs. Her hand reached up for the cold iron door knob, but was startled when the door flew open. She looked at the figure standing in the doorway. She only needed to see as far as the snakeskin boots to know it was her Uncle Robert. Lily squealed in excitement, and jumped up into the golden god's arms. Her delicate face was hidden in the tangles, and curls of golden hair. She began to twirl her fingers through his soft hair, giggling as she did so. "And how are you my little Miss Lily?" Robert asked in a hush tone. Lily smiled and looked into his light blue eyes. "Daddy was laughing and smiling today." She said with a gleam in her eyes, and a bright smile on her face. Roberts face began to scrunch up, and tears were forming in his eyes. He buried his face into Lily's auburn hair, and began to weep. Lily was startled by this.

"Uncle Robert what's wrong?!" she asked in fear. Robert drew his head back, and wiped away the tears to reveal a smile. "I've been worried about your father Lily. He's never been the same since your mom passed away." he paused and looked up at the ceiling. "But hearing that he was smiling and laughing, it reassures me that she's watching over him,all of us actually, making sure everything is gonna be ok." He smiled back down at Lily, and planted a gentle kiss in her forehead. They both locked eyes with each other. Blue eyes to blue eyes. Both smiling like there was nothing wrong. Little did they know that Jimmy was standing in front of them. He let out a little cough to get their attention. Lily snapped out of her gaze, and squirmed out of her uncle's strong arms. She ran over to her father, who was standing there awkwardly. One of his arms across his abdomen, his other arm grasping the other. Robert's boots clicked as he walked over to his bandmate. Jimmy's heart began to race, for he did not know what his daughter told his friend, and bandmate. Jimmy's emerald eyes shot down to the ground as the golden god approached. His jet black hair dangled in waves that resembled a viscous ocean on a stormy day. He closed his eyes once he saw the boots, but then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Then it became a hug. No violence, no yelling, just comfort. There was silence for what seemed like hours, until Robert's quiet voice spoke. "I've been so worried about you Pagey." he said holding back tears. Jimmy's heart seemed to stop. He didn't seem to know what kind of anxiety he's put the whole band, and his family in ever since his wife died. He could never get the image of her lying there, with her cold hand limp in his warm hand. It seemed so surreal. The guitarist's arms dropped,and he fell to his knees and sobbed.

Lily walked over to the sobbing mess that was her father, her little red dress swaying as she did so. She stopped, and put her hand on her father's back. "Mum wouldn't want to see you like this." she said abruptly. Both Robert and Jimmy were startled by this. They did not expect a grieving child to say that to a mourning father. "Mum would want you smiling, and laughing, and playing guitar. Not crying. She wouldn't want to see all of the blood stains on your long sleeve shirts. Daddy, I've accepted the fact that she's not living anymore. She still lives in our hearts though. I know, I know she watches over us. What would she say if she saw you like this." Lily finished her lecture, and began to walk up to oak staircase. Jimmy slowly raised his head, the tips of his night sky coloured hair were drenched in memories. His eyes were puffy like cotton candy from all of the nightmares. His wrists were slashed with the reminder of loneliness. His heart was twisted, and pulled from all of the sights. But what just came out of his daughter's mouth made him think. He sat on his heels, and looked down at his hands in his lap. He closed his eyes, letting one more tear to roll down his porcelain cheek. And he thought of her. And what she'd do if she saw him like this.

He remembered her smile, the way she laughed. How much she loved to be outside, and with the animals. He remembered her riding the black stallion Achilles over the hills and far away. He remembered when she told her she was pregnant as he lay in the hospital close to death. He remembered seeing her there on the hotel bed. He remembered one thing specifically about her though.The love she had for him.

She may be gone, underneath the tree by the brook, with wildflowers swaying in England's breeze., and song birds singing. The words from his daughter's little pink lips kept ringing in his mind. "She still lives in our hearts though. I know, I know she watches over us." For the first time in years, the guitarist's broken heart began to beat with happiness. The weight off his back seemed to be lifted. He knew she was always there. And he loved it