"Ah! Troye, no! Put me down!" I laughed, hanging on for dear life as Troye charged around our living room, carrying me with him. He was laughing too, so much so that his knees eventually gave out, sending us both crashing to the ground in fits of laughter.
"Ouch. Connor, get off me." Troye moaned, still laughing as he gently shoved me off of him.
"Serves you right. You shouldn't have picked me up." I teased, rolling onto my stomach and leaning over to kiss him.
"Sorry. I'm just excited." I knew exactly what he was talking about. Only minutes earlier, we'd gotten a call to say that our Home Study had been successful and we were on the waiting list to adopt our first child. It was something we'd been waiting for, for the better part of the last two years. And now it was finally happening. Within the next twelve months, we'd finally have a real family, complete with a child.
"I know. Me too. I love you, Troye."
"I love you too, Connor. Always and forever." His face suddenly fell and I sat up, pulling him with me so that we sat cross-legged facing each other.
"What's wrong? I thought you wanted this."
"I do. But what if something happens? What if we look away for a second and he or she slips? What if one of us accidentally hurts him or her? Or what if...?" I cut him off, pressing my lips firmly to his, in an attempt to put a stop to what was quickly becoming a full-blown panic attack.
"Hey..." I whispered when he pulled back, his pupils fully dilated, eyes wide and breathing hard. I put my hands on his cheeks, using my thumbs to gently massage under his eyes. "Troye, don't think like that. Everything will be just fine."
"But..."
"No. Troye, I've seen you looking after Megan and Taylah. You're a natural with kids." In preparation for having our own child, we'd looked after my sister's kids several times and Troye had taken to it like a moth to a flame. I could already picture him caring for our own child. He would be a perfect dad. If we had to worry about either of us not living up to the role, it should be me. I'd never been very good with kids growing up. Having looked after Megan and Taylah, I was a little wary of having a child of my own but Troye really wanted to so I figured maybe it would be different with my own.
"You think?" He asked, his breathing slowing down again.
"I know. You'll be fine. I'll be with you every step of the way." I promised, giving him another soft kiss. There was silence in the room for a moment as we kissed, my hand resting on the side of his neck as my thumb traced lines on his cheekbone.
"Do we tell people yet?" He asked quietly when we finally broke apart. I shrugged.
"I don't know. I mean, it could be a while still before we even get matched with a birth mother. Do you want to announce it?"
"Maybe just our parents. That way there's someone to turn to if something goes wrong."
"Goes wrong?" I queried, a frown settling on my face as he nodded.
"Yeah. Like if we get matched but it falls through for some reason." At his words, I felt my heart constrict and start to beat faster. I didn't want that to happen. I wanted to have a child of my own to raise with Troye. With those thoughts in mind, my earlier worries began to fade as I realised that I wanted this just as much as Troye did.
"I hope to god that doesn't happen. I muttered and he nodded.
"Me too. But there's always a possibility." He used one hand on the back of my neck to pull me closer and press a kiss to my forehead. "Do you want to call my parents or yours first?"
