I knew what I did was stupid. I knew it wouldn't end well. But I couldn't let my daughter get hurt. And there was a chance that I'd be okay. So I threw myself in front of Riley, protecting her with my body.
I heard them scream for me, even as I fell to the floor, everything fading to black around me.
At first, I didn't understand why I suddenly seemed fine. I was in no pain. I could see and hear everything around me. Including the screams and tears of my husband and daughter.
"I'm here. I'm okay." I tried to tell them but they didn't hear me, their eyes trained downwards. I followed their gaze and it all made sense. They were staring at my lifeless body, a pool of blood slowly growing around it. I was dead. I'd sacrificed myself for the people I loved the most.
I didn't try to speak. I didn't try to touch them. I was in shock as I watched the events unfold in front of me. Only moments after I died, police barged in, tackling my killer to the ground. Everything was a mess as people rushed out of the café to greet loved ones. But Connor stayed frozen to the spot, Riley clutched in his arms. Eventually, a policeman guided him up, leading him out the door.
"No! No! Let me see him! I need to see him!" Connor fought against the policeman, tears streaming down his face and mixing with the blood, my blood, that had splattered over him. Someone had pulled Riley from his arms and was consoling the little girl who was also in tears, both from witnessing me dying and from seeing her papa so distraught.
"Daddy! Daddy, wake up! I want my daddy!" Riley tried to wriggle out of the arms of the woman holding her to no prevail. "Papa, why won't daddy wake up?" She called out to Connor who didn't even seem to hear her. He was still trying to get back to me.
~~
Suddenly, I was home, watching as Connor's parents sat in our living room, clearly upset and unsure of what to do. I could hear Connor's sobs from somewhere in the house and I made my way upstairs to find him in our bedroom, curled up with Riley fast asleep next to him. He was clutching tightly to my pillow, his face buried in it.
He was taking this hard.
The doorbell rang and a few minutes later, my mum came into the bedroom. Connor looked up, bursting into tears when he saw her. She was also crying as she hugged him tightly.
"I'm sorry, Laurelle. I couldn't do anything!" Connor cried.
My mum didn't reply. She just held him tighter. I could hear voices downstairs. My siblings and my dad were here too. I couldn't imagine what they were going through. I only wished I could let them know I was here. I was watching.
~~
The day of my funeral was horrific. Connor could barely get through his speech without crying, his arms tight around Riley as he talked about how he'd loved me for so long and now he had to live without me. I was almost on the verge of crying too when I saw his mum guide him to his seat.
"Sweetie, I know you love your daddy, but honey, not even a miracle could bring him back." I heard Cheryl, Connor's mum, say to Riley and my heart broke at the expression on my daughter's face. She was devastated.
Back at home, Connor couldn't face all the people giving him their condolences. He quickly disappeared up to our room, burying himself under the blankets and sobbing.
"Connor?"
"What?" I'd never heard him snap at his mum like that before.
"You should come downstairs, honey."
"No. I don't want to."
"But..."
"It's not going to bring him back, is it? All those people talking about how wonderful and amazing he was when they barely knew him. They're all telling me that it'll be fine, that I'll get through it. But I don't want to, mom. I don't want to be okay without him." Cheryl crossed the room and sat beside him, pulling him close.
