How Long Will I Love You

Three

THREE

“Year seven, settle down please! Josh, get back in your seat now! Judy, put away the mirror.” Mr Brown fumes, clenching his fist and his wrinkled cheeks turning a ghastly pinkish colour from shouting.

I keep my head down as I pass through the blue doorway. Everyone moves away from their small cluster of friends and approach their own seats, politely standing behind them awaiting the teacher’s yelled instructions.

“You’re two minutes late.” Mr Brown stares down at me pointedly, his voice sounding disgraced and disappointed. My cheeks flush.

“Sorry sir.” I mumble, rushing over to my seat and ignoring the giggles around me. I scope the room.

There he is.                                                    

He’d left me after second last lesson and me being the needy person I am, went looking for him. But he’s already here, staring confidently at the front of the class room, ignoring the glances Judy and I keep sending his way.

“Take a seat.” Mr Brown calls and so the lesson begins. I sigh, slouching down in my chair and staring across the room at the window.

Why did he keep leaving me? I was his best friend.

Yet he always seemed to do it, whenever he was annoyed or whenever I said the wrong thing. He just upped and left, making me wonder if I had opened my big mouth once again and offended him. It always seemed to happen. I remember he said I was an irritating person, and because both my parents and my older sister had said the same, I believed him.

I shake my head slowly; I really need to change; to stop getting him worked up; to stop asking him stupid questions; to just shut up.

“Okay, we’re going to be continuing our presentations from last lesson so get in your pairs.” Mr Brown instructs, taking a seat at his computer and staring at the screen. I hastily pick up my bags and take a seat next to my partner: my best friend. I should definitely apologise.

“I’m sorry.” I say quickly, voicing my thoughts. He raises an eyebrow at me, looking confused.

“For what?”

“For whatever I said that made you leave.” I answer him, wondering if he knew what I was talking about. He frowns then smiles.

“Oh that.” He waves a hand dismissively, “our conversation was boring me. Sorry.” He grins sheepishly and although I try to remain impassive, I’m hurt that he thinks that. I bite my lip and nod, trying to manage a smile.

Sometimes I wondered if he ever realised that he said the wrong thing too.

“How was it boring?” curiosity getting the better of me. I immediately regret it as soon as he spins around to glare at me.

“Why are you always like this? I don’t know if you realise but I don’t give a damn that Judy was glaring at you during History. I like her, she’s my friend.” He said definitely, which made me realise this conversation was over.

“Sorry.”

“I’m going to the loo. Do the work, will you?” he mutters, abruptly standing up and walking out the classroom. I sigh heavily, biting my lip down hard.

He was always leaving me. Best friends shouldn’t do that.

He always did this. He always hurt me.

But I still loved him.

*****