The Four - Book 3

Chapter 20

Lana

"I see it."

I truly do see it. I didn't think whatever Debb was saying was true, but I see it. The hand. If I grab it, I'll live an eternity of happiness, but if I don't, I'll live an eternity of sadness.

Paytah looks more handsome than ever. Even though my blood is on his hands and clothes, even though his eyes are puffy from his tears, even though his hair is all greasy, even though dirt and dried blood covers his face, even though I am about to die...

He said he loves me.

Can I believe it? Not fully. He could just be saying this because I am dying. But there's a chance that he truly means it. Maybe he did actually love me, but never admitted it.

I saw his sorrowful face when he watched his dad get shot by his own mother, but I saw an emotion of relief when I shot his mother. He was glad I did it, and so am I. She's gone. I didn't even realize Paytah was shot, twice, until he was coughing up a storm. I knew then with his pale face that he was bleeding out for a long time, to a point where it's dangerous, but we had to run.

And we did.

I slowed down so I could help and guide him, but how could I forget?

Paytah is strong as fuck.

He didn't really need my help. He started running faster and faster, and for a moment I felt that we could do it. We could escape. We could be free. Juris got to the woods. Aira was close. Roma was right behind her.

I turned around to see where Hanson and the guards were.

And that's when I lost my breath.

An excruciating pain ripped through my chest, a sharp but quick pain traveled through my entire body. It made my body paralyzed, but I stayed there, standing. I looked up at Paytah, who stopped when he noticed I wasn't with him. I looked down at the hole though my chest, through my heart...

"Lana!" I heard Paytah scream. But I slowly fell on my knees, and then on my back. Paytah was there in an instant, looking down at me. Tears welled up in his eyes as he glanced at my bullet wound.

He knows.

And so do I.

And now I see it. God dammit, I see it. The hand.

Paytah's confused face makes me realize that he has no idea what I'm saying. He probably thinks I'm crazy.

"If I want to live an eternity of happiness, I'm supposed to grab it." I say. It hurts to talk, but I give it all I have. This is my last chance.

Paytah looks deep into my eyes.

His eyes.

I'll miss them. It brings me back to the dome, when he pushed me against the dome and stared right at me with those eyes. Orangish, with a twirl of red and yellow in them. They look like the sunset, and still do as I look up at them. He looks at me, like he's figuring out something in his head, like he's suffering a battle within his own mind.

He's figuring out how to let me go.

But the thing is, I'm ready to go. The pain is too much to bear, and the hand is right there, reaching out to me. I have to grab it, I want to grab it. I want to live a lifetime of happiness. I know Paytah doesn't want me to go, but only if he knew this is what I want.

I didn't expect this, though. After going through all this shit to dying from a small bullet? But I guess not everyone can live. It was amazing how us four were still alive since the beginning. I don't know if Paytah will even make it, he's bleeding just as bad as I am. He could die today, or tomorrow. Hell, Aira and Juris could die. Just a bullet through the chest can end it. You never knew what can happen.

But my time has come.

There's so many people I want to say goodbye to. Aira and Juris aren't by my side, but I know they see me. My little brother, my parents, hell, my friends before I was captured. I want to say goodbye. I want to tell them that I'll be fine, that I'm going to be happy, that they don't have to worry about me.

"Grab it, then," Paytah says, disrupting my thoughts, "you deserve an eternity of happiness."

Do I? I don't know. But I know that's what I want. I want to live in happiness again, I've been living in fear and pain ever since I was captured. I want it, I might not deserve it, but I have a chance. I have to take the chance.

It's time.

Before I grab the hand, I look back up at Paytah, and at the sky. Shit, maybe I don't want to die. I don't want to be left behind, I don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to be gone...

"Don't let me be gone." My mind says, but I guess it was out loud. Paytah doesn't seem to care what I say. He stares down at me with his wide, fearful eyes.

"Never. You'll always be here," he says, "I love you."

He said it again.

Maybe he means it.

My minds a blur, with Paytah's face above me, but also the hand reaching out to me. I want to keep looking at his face, even though his tears are falling on my face and blood soaks all around us. For a moment I think that he's dying too, but he's breathing heavily.

There's so many things I want to do. I want Hanson to die. I want Paytah to kiss me again. I want Aira to tell me that I was right about Hanson. I want Juris to say one of his quirky jokes. I want to see my family. I want to grow up. I want to live in this actual world, not one where it was all a test.

But I want no more pain.

So I reach my hand up.

I look at Paytah one last time.

I love you too.

I grasp the hand above me, and immediately, I see the most brightest light I've ever seen, it's beautiful.

And my pain vanishes.

••••••

Hello..

:(

Sorry this chapter is short, but I felt that we needed to read a little more in Lana's POV before she is gone :/

THERE IS ONLY 1 MORE CHAPTER LEFT PEOPLE!!

WELL ACTUALLY 2  CHAPTERS hah!

One is a regular chapter, and one will be more of an Epilogue!!!

I'm so sad that this book is ending...but thank you for all sticking with me and reading this book!

Thank you :)