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Feeling

Emily's POV

It's about 3 o'clock and I'm feeling tired so I decided to rest for awhile. I crawled into my bed and tried to fall asleep. However sleep evaded me because I couldn't turn my mind off. I couldn't stop thinking about the day with Alison so far. She was so kind and gentle to me. Her honesty was amazing too. I enjoyed learning about how all of us became friends and how we overcame a lot of good and bad times. It truly seems like we are sisters.

Now I know the last thing I remember was middle school graduation and moving to Rosewood, but I still remember that I'm gay. I had known this about myself even before high school. There's just one feeling that I can't shake right now. It's the feeling that I have inside me when I'm around Alison. It feels so familiar and effortless. I must admit that I am very attracted to her the more that I'm around her. I mean, she's absolutely stunning. And those eyes. I couldn't stop looking at them. Ugh and her smile. I hope she didn't notice me checking her out. I mean we're supposed to be best of friends. I doubt we were ever like that. I'm being silly. Go to bed Emily.

When I finally fell asleep, I dreamt that I was in high school and I was training for swim team tryouts. I was so focused and so determined that nothing else seemed to be important. I still hadn't made any friends yet but I didn't really care. I loved swimming and I had a goal so nothing was going to stand in my way. One day at the pool, I finished my laps and emerged from the water to see Alison standing at the end with this snotty, angry look on her face. "Can I help you?" I said. "Yea. What's with you? What's with this attitude you've given me? I've been nothing but nice to you" she said angrily. Getting out of the pool I said, "Nothing. I have no problem with you. I'm just busy and very focused on making the swim team so I can hopefully land a scholarship to a college and one day be an Olympic swimmer. What's your deal?" Walking closer to me and stopping inches from my race she replied, "I don't like rude people who don't appreciate when I'm being nice to them. And in case you haven't noticed, you're getting a lot of attention around here from all the hot guys. And guess what? I own all of them. There will be no space for you". "Oh so what I'm really gathering here is that you're threatened by me for some reason. Good to know" I responded rather boldly and firmly. The look on her face was priceless. It was like no one had ever challenged her before or ever talked to her like that. She was practically rendered speechless. As a result, I decided to sweeten the moment with an even bigger shock. Grabbing my things I turned back around, got within inches of her lips and said, "Well I don't have time for childish games like this. Oh and one more thing," I said putting a stray strand of hair behind her ears, "I guess it's a good thing we're attracted to different things... if you know what I mean". And with that I turned and walked away.

That's when I woke up. I looked towards the window and saw that it was dark outside. I walked out into the living room and saw Alison on the couch, snuggled up under a blanet, reading a book, wearing these big, bold glasses. "I'm so sorry I slept so long" I said, stirring her from her book. "What book are you reading? It looks like you're enjoying it" I said as I sat on the couch next to her. "Oh it's my favorite. I've probably read it like ten times already. It's Great Expectations. You can read it at anytime you'd like" she replied while closing the book. Intrigued  I replied, "I think I will". "What's wrong? Something seems to be on your mind" she asked. God did she really know me. "I don't know. I just had this dream while I was sleeping. It felt so real" I replied. "Hm. Okay. Do you feel like telling me about it? I want you to know" she said followed by a pause and her placing her hand on my knee, "You can tell me anything". I thought about it for a moment and then decided to tell her. Cause it was just a dream right? So I preceded to tell her everything about the dream. By the time I finished, Alison had tears streaming down her face. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry" I exclaimed. Shaking her head she responded, "No. Emily. These are happy tears. The dream you just told me about is something that actually happened back in freshman year of high school. You've remembered something"! She couldn't contain herself any longer and lunged across the couch and gave me a huge hug. In that moment, we were so close. I could literally feel her heart beating. I couldn't help but smile. I want to get my memory back. It's feeling like there's so much of my life that's just blank. Stories from Alison help fill in the gap a bit, but until I remember them for myself, it just won't feel the same.