"Dr.Ash! room 28, quick!" a nurse shouted. Ash heeded to the nurse's command and ran to the room. The patient was having an strong asthma attack, emergencies always scared Ash, even though this was her third week in the emergency department, yet she wasn't fitting in. Nonetheless, she did what was required, and she did it quite well too, but once it was over, she had to run back to her office and calm herself down. It's because she thought a lot about the consequences, she always thought, "this person's life depends on me, what if something goes wrong?" you can call it lack of confidence, but it was merely her power to feel so deeply for others. And a very bad habit of thinking about the future.
"Ash, you alright?" Jisoo asked, pouring hot water into her cup
Ash lifted her head from her hands as she looked up, "yea I'm fine..I was doing alright, but when the nurse called me, I think..when I turned around I saw..I might be wrong but I think I saw..something..I don't I just don't feel so good.." Ash said, confused and scared.
She took her phone out and tried calling someone. But there was no reply. She was growing more and more impatient and she finally threw her phone away.
"what happened?" Jisoo asked, concerned
Ash got up and blinked a few times, trying to calm herself.."I-" her voice broke as a tear fell out of her eye, Jisoo quickly embraced her in a hug, "what's wrong, Ash? are you alright?" she asked again
"that guy, in there..had a near death experience, he'll look at life in a different way..with a different perspective, don't you think? which is good..and the only not-so-good-thing is that I have no idea how is Myungsuk doing.."
"hey, you're the one who told me he got accepted in the university he applied for, he's probably busy with his studies, bioengineering isn't that easy, you know!" Jisoo said, rubbing her back
"plus, today's the day! department changing!" Jisoo cheered
Ash nodded, "yes, I've been 'posted' to the cardiology department..which is so much better than the emergency department! I honestly have so much respect for all those working in the ER, but man..Am I happy to be out of it!" Ash said as she got up to pack her bag
"you got the cardiology department?" Jisoo asked, surprised
"yup that's what I said, what about you?" Ash asked stuffing everything in her bag and zipping it up.
"uh, the cardiology.." jisoo said in a not so excited way as she was supposed to
"the first one to reach the office gets to choose the desk and the bed!" Ash exclaimed running out of the office. But Jisoo didn't follow her, she took her time to pack and slowly walk out.
~
"in case you don't know, I won and I chose the top bunk and that desk..I know you don't like the top bunk..so i chose it, you're welcome!" Ash said excitedly.
Jisoo didn't say anything, just smiled.
Ash raised an eyebrow, and cleared her throat a few times, but Jisoo didn't say anything.
"hellow?" Ash said, hanging her head upside down to look at her
"hey Ash I need to go get some stuff from the.." Jisoo said waving her hand vaguely, "the office!" she clicked her fingers as she sped out of the room.
Ash didn't bother to give a second thought to what she said or where she went and lay down on her bed, looking at her phone, waiting for Myung Suk to call.
~
It was 12 am, when Jisoo came back to the room, empty handed. Luckily, Ash was asleep, snoring and drooling, with her phone in one hand.
Jisoo tiptoed towards her bed and when she was finally under her sheets, she screamed when she saw Ash staring back at her.
"where'd you go?" she asked in monotonously.
"Ash! you almost killed me!" Jisoo whispered hard
"answer the question, Jisoo." Ash said again
"I..went out..for a..walk!" Jisoo said, getting up
"hmm?" Ash gave a creepy smile, "with Minhyuk Sunbae?" she smirked
Jisoo let out a small laugh, "yea you caught me! ahaha.." she said rubbing the back of her neck, not making eye contact with Ash
"it's okay! you don't have to be embarrassed about it in front of me! I'd probably go running if Myung Suk even sends me text saying 'come', I'll actually make barry allen question his speed!" Ash said, yawning as she spoke.
"goodnight chief!" Jisoo saluted
"goodnight.." Ash said sleepily as she went to sleep again.
~
Ash was up early, following the doctor in charge around in every ward, taking notes, meeting the patients.
"I'll leave you to see the other patients as I have a surgery to perform! Doctor Lee will show you around the recovery wards and the VIP wards.." the chief said as he excused himself
"okay, this the last VIP room, the patient came in 5 days ago, he is-" before doctor lee could finish his sentence, he was called due to emergency and so Ash and two other residents were to meet the patient themselves.
Ash opened the door cautiously and walked inside, but when she turned around the residents were gone.
"are you awake?" Ash asked because the patients face was towards the window, she checked his history on the laptop. "Mr. Kim Myung Suk-" Ash stopped, she re read the name twice. She gulped as she walked to the bed side to see the patients face and she quickly covered her mouth.
Myung Suk.
She reviewed his report and bit the pad of her index finger, like she always did when she was nervous and afraid.
Male, 27. Experienced chest pain and fainted. Myocardial contusion.
"Myocardial contusion.." Ash whispered, recalling his story about the car crash in which he lost his parents..
"Ash?" he whispered in a weak voice, he was pale and weak.
Ash bit her inner lip hard, to prevent herself from crying, she took a deep breath
"..I'm sorry.." she whispered and grabbed his hand
He intertwined his fingers with hers, "why are you sorry?" he asked, giving a breathy laugh
"..because-" she almost choked on her saliva, "I wasn't here when you needed me.." she did that again, the 'trying to grasp for air but failing' thing.
"Ash..I didn't want you to know.." he whispered, reverting his gaze to the window
She held his hand against her face, "why..?"
"because I.."
"the professor didn't tell me either!" Ash protested
"it's because I asked her and your friend Jisoo not to tell you..they didn't do anything wrong.." Myung Suk explained
"jisoo knew too?" Ash asked, "I hate you.." she whispered
"she told me you've been getting anxiety attacks recently.." Myung Suk said as he fixed her bangs
Ash looked embarrassed, "it's because..I was spending too much time with people who were on the verge of dying and even though I do know that death is inevitable, I am just scared..no one was there to hug me and tell me everything would be alright.." she replied
Myung Suk smiled a sad smile, I won't be here long..you do know that, don't you?
"come on.." he said as he extended his arms and gestured her to come closer
Ash laughed, "yea, I think this is going to solve everything!" as she hugged him. Taking in his scent, this familiar scent she never wanted to let go of..
