Myung Suk woke up with a chest pain. He was sweaty and his breathing was irregular. He got out of the bed and stumbled towards the door, it was still dark, 3am. He rubbed his chest as he walked towards the stairs. Clumsily climbing each step. He finally reached the roof, he took a deep breath as he walked towards the edge.
He took several long breaths before standing up straight and realizing where he was standing. He took a step back and looked around, no one else was on the roof, he was alone.
He leaned over the wall and looked at the cars moving, the lights twinkling. The cold wind gently touching his face. He leaned forward when suddenly he felt a strong pull and then a sudden warmth.
He opened his eyes, balancing himself on his feet, he lifted his head and his eyes met hers.
"Ash.." he whispered
tears rolling down her face, "what are you doing here at this time!?" she said hitting his arm
Myung suk smiled as he rubbed his arm, "I.."
"I leave you alone for two minutes and you disappear again!" Ash said before letting him complete his sentence
Myung Suks eyes widened, "..disappear.." he whispered, he turned his face away and walked towards the edge again, but Ash grabbed his hand and stopped him
"don't go there..it's dangerous.." she said pulling him towards herself
He stopped but didn't face her, he lifted his head and looked at the sky,
"Ash.." he whispered, Ash looked at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence
but he didn't say anything for a while, as if he was still thinking about what to say...or how to say it.
He finally smiled, "Ash..?" he whispered again and Ash gave him another questioning look
"look at the moon.." Ash followed his gaze, "this moon is a witness of my promise that I love you..and that..no matter what turn life takes after this, I'll always put your happiness above mine.." Myung Suk whispered, pulling Ash closer
Ash's smile disappeared, she turned to look at him but he didn't look at her, his eyes were twinkling because of the tears,
he gulped and then forced a smile, "Ash..lets not do this anymore.." he said weakly.
Ash gave a breathy laugh thinking he was playing around with her
"stop joking around.." she said, tugging the corner of his shirt in her hand
Myung Suk bit his lip as tears fell down, he finally looked at Ash and shook his head lightly, "Ash..I'm not joking..lets break up..for our own good.." he said clenching his fists tight enough that his palm started bleeding because of his nails piercing it.."
Ash took a step back, with heavy breathing, "for our own good? what's that Myung Suk? what is our own good?" she asked, her eyes red because of anger and her heart shattered
"Ash..I'm going to die soon..and you know it.." myung Suk said
"so am I! everyone is going to die Myung Suk! does that mean we stop loving? are we cowards?" Ash retaliated
Myung Suk wiped his tears and walked towards her, "Ash..I hope you live a really really long colourful life..with someone who can run with you and be with you when you're having a hard time..my time here is limited..I don't even think I'll be able to watch the flowers bloom this year..my condition isn't getting better it's only getting worse and you know it..I came here..because I was suffocating and..waking up every single day with chest pain..and not knowing how much time I have left with you and still not being able to make it memorable is heartbreaking Ash..it's hard for me to sit around and look at you saying goodbye to me every single day.." he gently put his hands on her shoulder and turned her towards himself and looked into her eyes, "I love you Ash..and I want you to be happy..I want this..pain in your eyes to disappear.." he whispered.
Ash grabbed his hand and put it on her cheek and closed her eyes, they stood like that for a few minutes before Ash opened her eyes, "let's go back down, you need to rest..we'll talk about this in the morning.." she said pulling him behind her and he followed her reluctantly but there was something he wanted to say which he couldn't.
"now go to sleep.." Ash whispered as she ran her fingers through his hair and smiled.
She got up and was about to leave when Myung Suk held her hand and stopped her, "Ash..?" he said
She smiled and turned, "yes?"
"you're an amazing human being..and I'm at a loss of words to explain how lucky I am to have been able to spend time with you and to get your love..I must've done something really good in my past life to deserve a person like you..to love and to be loved.."
Ash smiled, "Myung Suk, you see that moon?" she said pointing outside the window, "it's a witness of my promise to you that I'll love you..forever and always..no matter what.." she blushed when their eyes locked, she looked away but Myung Suk didn't
"Ash..promise me you won't be afraid to love again..promise me you'll love again with all your heart..promise me that you won't punish yourself for what fate decides for you..please promise me..please?" Myung Suk said, desperately
Ash laughed a little, "I promise! now go to sleep, I'll see you in the morning!" she said waving goodbye and leaving him alone.
Myung Suk turned to look at the moon once again, a single tear fell out of his eye as he closed his eyes.
~
"OYE! ASH! WAKE UP..chief's on visit!" Jisoo said jerking Ash violently
Ash quickly got up, unlike herself, she was smiling.
"you're smiling? the grumpy Ash is smiling in the morning? it's a miracle!" Jisoo exclaimed, receiving a death glare in return.
Ash tied her hair and washed her face, put a little makeup on.
"putting effort huh? looks like someone is going to meet their boyfriend!" Jisoo teased Ash but instead of hitting her or giving her a death glare Ash giggled.
"Okay! I'm off! see you later!" Ash said as she left the room
"aw look at her finally smiling and laughing after such a long time.." Jisoo whispered after her.
~
Ash fixed her hair once again before stepping inside Myung Suks ward. She tried suppressing her smile as she opened the door and walked. Her smile disappeared as confusion took over her face. There was someone else on the bed instead of Myung Suk. Ash rechecked the room number, it was Myung Suks ward.
"excuse me? Nurse Han? where is..Myung Suk?" she asked, having mixed feelings.
"Myung Suk? Kim Myung Suk?" the nurse confirmed
"yes..the pale guy with brown hair and-"
"the professor's son?" The nurse asked before letting Ash finish her sentence
"yes! Professor Kim's son!" Ash exclaimed,
"didn't you hear? He passed away this morning.." the nurse said
For a second, just for a second it felt like everything in the hospital had stopped, it felt as if everything had turned dark. Ash looked at her shaking hands, she tried grabbing something for support but failed and fell on the floor. Tears rolling down her cheeks, her lips shaking, her heart breaking.
"Ash!" Jisoo came running, "Ash..I heard about Myung Suk-" she stopped when she saw Ash sitting on the floor, helplessly
"Ash.." she hugged her, but Ash didn't move or say anything.
~
"I used to love rain.." Ash whispered, sitting next to his grave, wearing the black dress for his funeral, flowers in hand.
She wiped her tears, "what will I do now.." she whispered as she put her face in her hands and cried, cried till there were no more tears left. Cried till she could cry no more.
"Ash.." someone said putting their hand on her shoulder
she quickly got up and wiped her tears, "professor Kim.."
"ash..you'll catch a cold, your clothes are all wet.." professor said putting a coat over Ash's shoulders
"I'm alright.." Ash whispered, not making eye contact with the professor
"Ash..he left peacefully..he saw this coming..he was always the kid to plan things early..Ash..he left a note for you..here.." she said handing Ash a piece of paper and leaving
Ash unfolded the paper with shaky hands and tears blinding her.
"Ash..I'm sorry I couldn't spend more time with you..but listen to me, there's someone out there waiting for you and your love, don't punish him or yourself for the decisions fate made. I wanted the pain in your eyes to vanish forever but look at this now, you're crying because of me..I'm sorry..that's all I can write..I'm sorry for hurting you..just remember I love you and that I left happy and proud of you. I always wanted to experience real love once..and I'm happy because my wish came true in the form of this beautiful tiny little girl, who has so many insecurities, who is scared and confused but man, is she wonderful.. Her name is..Ash Tuan, the love of my life, the girl with a heart that feels so deeply for people, that she cries alone at night just because she can't help them..she's the reason I left this world happy and contented. Ash, I love you and I want you to be happy..forever and always..Yours forever, Myung Suk."
Ash clenched the letter next to her heart and cried, she was helpless and desperate, "Myung Suk..thank you for helping me experience love..the time I spent with you was incredible. it was thrilling and exciting and scary..but I'd do anything to relive those moments again..I wish I could've met you earlier..it..it must've been hard for you.." Ash choked on her spit, "I know you're in a better place..and happy but it's hard for me..to go back to living life like nothing happened..love, once, is alright..if it was with you I would've given it another go but..I'm sorry..I can't fulfill my promise of loving again.." she wiped her tears as she placed the white roses next to his grave and walked away.
