Survivor: A Star Wars Story

Chapter XIII

REINA TAUTASKI

02:14

That was the time that Reina was aimlessly wandering the Temple halls on the morning of the trials.  Knots tugged in her stomach as her brows furrowed and jaw locked upon trying to forget that within a few hours, she would be facing a test that would determine which way her life went. And if she failed, there wouldn't be a re-sit.

Moving swiftly, the cloak that she had worn to keep her warm brushed around her ankles as she padded through the halls as silently as she could. She made her way up to the top floor of the Temple and before exiting through a small emergency door that led out to a ridge, running the entire Temple's span. From there, she jumped up the last section of wall, an easy feat after all the training Obi-Wan had given her; although he'd probably intended it for a war zone scenario and not a late night escape. Taking a moment to centre herself on landing, she made her way to the centre of the Temple roof, at the base of the Communications Centre's spire. Sitting down and leaning against the smooth wall, she instantly felt more relaxed.

This had been her sanctuary many a time when she first arrived. Days when it had been too much, she'd ventured out into the halls at night to steal away something that seemed familiar.  Familiarity did not present itself easily. The Temple was quiet and undisturbed - too much so.  The long stretches of undisturbed peace gave her far too much time to question her decisions. This spot, nestled in the not-too-distant noises of the megalopolis, granted views for miles, an endless wave of buildings stretching on as far as the eye could see in any direction.  The sheer scale of it that she could vanish into, was a comfort. She didn't have to be Reina, that one Initiate with the rough past, who ate lunch with her Master or alone in the Temple cantina. She didn't have to feel the shame that still pumped toxic doubt into her veins.

She'd told Kenobi many things whilst she'd been here, but secretly, she never wanted him to completely find out about what happened on Zygerria. He had given so much to help her get back on her feet. He fully and irrevocably told her he believed in her, despite the odds. But the things she had done, just to get in that palace... they were the reasons she still felt as far from being a Jedi as Wild Space was from the Core. Just like Wild Space, she wasn't sure she could chart a path through either.

She could see the Senate Building a few miles away and the beaming obelisk of the 500 Republica, iconic on the skyline. Exhaling a small sigh, she found it ironic how the exterior of the landmarks was all she knew of them, despite being at the Temple for eight months. Or more specifically, in the Temple for eight months. She had freedom to move around in the Temple, but beyond was another matter. There simply hadn't been time. From dawn till dusk, she trained, every day. It was for good reason, but her natural urge to chafe against restrictions had been difficult to curb in moments.  Some twisted part of her was drawn to the idea of the war - always moving, never settling.  Having something to do.  Even journeying a war-ridden galaxy sounded better than in the shackles of someone else.  Just another thought which a Jedi shouldn't entertain.

Glancing up to the sky, three of the four pearly white moons shone through the hazy that always seemed to hang over Coruscant. The stars were pathetically dim; there was far too much pollution for them to shine fully, and too much light from the moons.  Still, it was enough of a reminder that one way or another, she would at least be among those stars soon, either leaving to find a new life or heading to war.  If she failed, it would be the final straw to turn her away from Coruscant forever.  The under-levels held little aside from waste gas and rot. In some way, it was a comfort that once tomorrow ended, the long and gruelling wait to determine her future would be over.  

The moons had noticeably shifted before she decided to reluctantly go back inside.  Her clock, upon returning to her quarters, told her she'd spent too much time up there.  Reina often found that happening, where ten minutes would turn to an hour in the blink of an eye. Sitting on her bed, the gnawing in her stomach was back as she crossed her legs and tried to slow her breathing as minimal and deep as possible. Anything to get her pounding heart rate down. Her quarters was a tiny room, barely more than a closet with a 'fresher attached, but it was hers.  That made it more than enough.  It was also the only room in the Temple she had ever had to herself, having to share a creché as a child with the other younglings.