The Mistake [Norman Reedus] Book One {{COMPLETED}}

Chapter 49

GRACE'S POV:

My dad gave it to me.  The ability to worry how I can.  And this was just one of those times that his gene decided to throw itself back into my life.

With everything going on, I didn't know what to do.  Norman didn't seem to like me anymore, we were going somewhere that everyone hoped and expected we'd know about (Though we don't) and the secret that the doctor whispered to me when he was patching me up.

I was never any good at keeping secrets, and this one made it extra hard on me.

The secret?  Well, I think I'll just have to hold off on it for a while.

I was put into a isolated tent from the rest of everyone, and my wrist ached.  Someone had bandaged it, but it still send pains through my arm every time I even thought of moving it.

I focused my eyes on one spot in the roof of the tent that was covered by a little, gray square of duct tape.  I memorized how it looked.  The bottom right corner was folded up, and the sides looked worn down.  I could just barely see the rip that it was hiding, peeking out from the left side.  When I looked to the ground just under the tape, there was a small stain that came from the water that once dripped through the patched area.

I moved my eyes slowly back up to the roof of the tent and then closed my eyes, focusing my attention on my fingers that I tried to wiggle.

"Can I go see her now?  I need to know what happened.  She'd never do something like that for no reason." I could hear Norman's voice pleading with somebody outside.

I just kept wiggling my fingers, and doing my best to twist my wrist around in a circle.

Once I was done with my stupid little exercises, I realized how hot I was, and kicked the covers off.

When I cooled down a bit, I heard a muffled voice talking back to Norman.  I didn't catch what it spoke, but a second later, Norman came into the tent. 

I fixated my eye's back onto the duct tape and laid still.  I was upset.  With myself.  And I didn't want to tell Norman about it all.  I didn't want to yank him forcefully into the world of me.  If he doesn't ask, then he doesn't want to know.  I told myself, clenching my jaw.

I could feel Norman glance over at my wrist, and when he did, I turned my body away from him.

"Leave." I croaked.

Norman stayed quiet for a moment.  I thought he was gone, and I turned my head just enough to see him still sitting there on the floor, shaking his head to himself.

"I need you to tell me what you were thinking."

I just rolled back flat and stared, once again, at the tape.

"Leave." I echoed, adding a little aggression to my voice.

"No." He said.  "Tell me."

My attention was pulled to my wrist, and I clenched my fist to the point where it hurt.

"You want to know?" I asked, closing my eyes.

I was assuming that Norman gave a nod, since he didn't say anything.

"My dad had GAD." I began.  "Generalized Anxiety Disorder." I clarified.  "And," I trailed my word off and the word hung in the air, ready to be finished.  "He gave it to me.  Sort of."  I paused.  "You may not think of the things that are happening as a big deal.  For example: When Paris took Rugger back to the tent.  I got anxious that I wouldn't be able to be comforted.  You may be wondering why, and it's because of -- like I said-- Austin had the same kind of dog named Rugger.  I guess that OUR Rugger reminded me so much of HIS Rugger, that I believed that they were the same dog.  And Rugger, Austin's dog, comforted me in every way possible." These words that came out of my mouth were like glass, cutting my tongue every time I tried to speak them.  "I used to hide down in the basement with him when my mom and dad fought, or when my mom or dad was drunk.  So, when Paris took him away, I got almost angry." I said, my eyes winced shut.  "Anyway, that's just one of the reasons.  With Adin, Sean, Austin, our kiss the other night, my Aunt, etcetera.  Well, I had too much on my shoulders.  Something bad kicked in, and I did this."  I limply lifted my arm, and set it back down.

"So that's what happened.  No more, no less.  Now, can you leave?" I asked, sounding ruder that I thought I'd sound.

Norman simply nodded, and walked out, his face with no expression.

When he left, my body rushed with relief that I didn't spat out the secret that Dr. Park told me.  About the-- Wait, I can't tell you.  Right.  It's a secret.  I would if I could.

I didn't know what else to do but try and fall asleep, and I was about to accomplish sleep when the tent zipped open a crack, and Rugger walked in.  Some figure closed the door, and Rugger climbed over me, laying on my pillow over my head.  Just how Rugger #1 used to sleep.

A piece of paper attached to his collar made a crinkling noise and I pulled it off.

And it was from Norman:

I didn't really have any words for you back in the tent.  Maybe because I was speechless, or because I knew I would screw up, but, I did want to say one thing:

How do you manage your own world?  Alone? 

I looked back up at Rugger and took the pen off his collar.  Writing my response, I knew it was true.  I was just trying to figure out who in particular I was thinking about.

When I was done, I read over it and stuck it back onto Rugger, sending him back out.

I'm not alone.  

And I tell you again: I was still trying to wrap my mind around why I didn't know who was with me.  And why I wasn't thinking of Norman right off the bat.

(A/N: Hi!  School's canceled!  Hallelujah!  Thanks for all the absolutely BEAUTIFUL comments!  And more importantly, for 16k!  I LOVE YOU ALL! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Comment what you think of the chapter!) -Writingslayer