Vermillion

not anymore

my whole being now focuses

on one single breathing

ball of life within me;

it can't live

it will never see

the love of my life

who held me close

to his chest 

murmuring prayers

into my ears;

it will never be

within the warmth

of my arms

it will never see

the smile I will wear

when I give birth

to it

and it will never 

cry

at the joy

I and the love of my life

will share

my abdomen wracks

with so much pain

and I hate fate

I hate it so much

I didn't want to

listen to her

but I took those

pills and waited for

this pain to arrive

anyway

"It cannot survive. 

There are chances 

your nerves and the 

baby's can get tangled 

in the future months"

maybe,

maybe I will get to see

the four month pea 

if they come already

but why isn't there anyone?

I can't feel my legs 

I can't feel my arms

it's my abdomen

It's my uterus

It's my baby

I can feel 

it

I am

I

I

I don't know

Am I?

Is this--

My throat

Is 

P
A
R
C
H
E
D

I cannot breathe

My baby isn't a baby anymore

I am not a mother anymore

I

I

I

I am

Dyi-

__________

A/N - I would like to dedicate this to the girl who could have been my sister,friend or a cousin but turned out to be my neighbour. A nineteen year old sweetheart, who was married a year ago. She passed away yesterday. This isn't a poem. This won't do justice to her in any manner. I want to write a proper letter to the editor of the newspaper I read daily, because it's the hospital authorities at blame here. She was left forgotten and it's also said ; she was injected with the wrong serum and that's why she died. I wrote this according to the newspaper report, but only The Almighty knows what in reality happened. The doctor in question had asked her to take the pills because they had to abort the foetus like I mentioned. She visited her but she didn't even have the grace to tend to her! Her relatives and family are planning to file a case against the doctor and all of them including the village folks created havoc at the hospital, breaking windows and whatnot. I can't help but feel deep sadness for her. She is so close to my age and she died so young. All alone in her deathbed perhaps,unaware...

____________

©VioletEden

4thFebruary2017