If Not For You

Chapter 23

Killer of course noticed nothing.  Jenna quickly convinced him that her grandmother was expecting her shortly and that he could call her later.  He kissed her again and got in his car and pulled away. 

 Jenna walked over to Lena and they both stood outside the store looking in.  Jax was in there trying to talk to Ben.  Ben looked pissed.  But more importantly he looked betrayed.  Jenna wasn’t sure exactly what Jax was telling Ben but it didn’t look like it was giving him much comfort.  Ben finally looked out the window at Jenna.  He shook his head and walked up to the counter.  He put the pint of cookies and cream on the counter and the clerk tossed down a pack of cigarettes.  He paid for his items bitterly.  They were the reason he was here.  They were the reason he saw what he wished he hadn’t.  He tossed the money on the counter and pushed the door open.  Jenna was surprised it didn’t shatter.  Jax followed after.  “Just hear me out man.”  Ben stopped abruptly and he and Jax walked to the side of the store.  They all heard shouting.

Joe looked from Lena to Jenna.  “What am I missing here?”

“Clearly, Ben is pissed about something.”  Lena said flatly looking sympathetically at Jenna.

“Obviously, I got that.  What’s he so pissed about?”  Joe looked annoyed by the vague answer he was getting.

“I think they ran out of his kind of cigarettes.”  Jenna said trying to get Joe to shut up so she could hear what was going on.

“I don’t think so.  I just saw him come out with a pack.”  Joe spoke slowly trying to recall what he saw in Ben’s hands.

“Well if you would shut up we could hear.”  Jenna and Lena stood at the end of the store trying to hear.

“You’re supposed to be my best friend you asshole.  Why would you do that to me?  Why would you take the girl I like out on a date with another guy.  Not just any guy, that guy.  I would almost be less mad if YOU took her out on a date.”  Ben was pacing back and forth.  Puffing on a cigarette.

“Look, it’s not like that.  That isn’t what happened.”  Jax was trying to find the words to explain but Ben just budged right in there.

“How can you say that isn’t what happened?  That is exactly what happened.  I just saw them together.  They were right there, making out.”  Ben stopped talking and just looked at Jax.  “I kept my mouth shut.  I kept my mouth shut about you and Lena and what do I get, my two best friends screwing me over.”

“I swear we were there to keep an eye on what was going on.  It was a disaster.  The date couldn’t have gone worse.  Lena and I were just there to make sure nothing happened.  And nothing happened.”  Jax was standing there shouting at Ben.  After hearing that Jenna looked at Lena.   She was hurt that her friend wasn’t just there to support her but to spy on her.  Lena just looked down at the ground.

“Well that kiss sure as hell didn’t look like nothing.  You did a bang up job helping me asshole.”  Ben walked back towards the store.  He stormed past Joe, Lena, and Jenna.

“Ben!”  Jenna yelled his name, but he kept walking past.  He yanked open his car door and before he could slam it shut Jenna got into the passenger seat.  “Get the hell out.”  He looked at her.  It was a mixture of hurt and hate.

“Can we just talk about this?  Can you let me explain?  You knew I was going on a date with him.”  Jenna was trying to look for the right words to calm him down and was failing miserably.

“First of all there wasn’t an apology in there so I am done listening.  Get out of my car.”  Ben tossed the pint of ice cream on the floor of the backseat.  He didn’t care if it melted.  He didn’t feel like being comforting today.  His mom can just find her own way to deal with the hell she created.  He wasn’t mad at Jenna.  She was right.  She didn’t do anything wrong she had been nothing but honest with him.  He blamed himself for believing that there had been something between them.  He blamed himself for not being enough. 

She sat there staring at him, not budging.  His words were telling her to get out but his actions weren’t projecting that.  He started the car.  She sat there waiting for him to speak again.  For him to order her out of the car again but he didn’t.  He put the car in reverse and drove off with her inside.