If Not For You

Chapter 36

Lena worked her magic and in less than 30 minutes she had Jenna’s grandmother convinced that she was broken hearted, down trodden, and desperate.  Lena apologized repeatedly that she had kept Jenna for so long but her parents had been out of town and she had witnessed her boyfriend cheating on her.  She said she had enough courage to break up with him but was afraid that without any supervision she would allow him to come over to talk.  Or worse being left unchaperoned she feared she would take him back and allow him to steal her innocence.  Jenna was impressed at how amazing of an actress Lena was.  It was a very elaborate story and Jenna was convinced Lena was just regurgitating the plot in one of her cheesy teen shows she watched.  But not only did her grandmother give Lena an inspirational speech about how a real man will wait, she also went into the kitchen and made a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies.  Because that, she says, cures a broken heart.

They sat making small talk with her grandmother and eating junk food.  Jenna couldn’t help but become reminded of her childhood and how her grandmother used to be.  About an hour later Jenna felt her phone vibrate and she knew it was Benny calling.  She didn’t want her grandmother to know what was happening so she just asked to be excused.  Lena winked at her to let her know she would cover for her.

By the time she had made it to her room the phone had stopped vibrating.  She missed the call.  It vibrated again to notify she had a voicemail.  She ignored the voicemail and called Ben right back.

 "You didn't pick up," Ben whined.

"Sorry I had to get away from my grandmother."  Jenna could hear Lena and her grandmother laughing in the other room.

"How did that go?"  Ben had an ease in his voice that was never there before.

Jenna laughed remembering Lena's Oscar worthy act.  "Great actually.  Lena has my grandmother eating right out of her hand."

Ben laughed.  "Yeah Lena always had that ability.  She could make friends with anyone."

"So how is it going over there?"  Jenna wasn't sure if the silence was a good thing.

"Well it's nice and calm but..."  Ben spoke quietly into the phone.  "He likes the cowboys.  I can't believe my brother likes Dallas.  I am thinking of getting a paternity test."  Jenna could hear Lucas joking with Ben in the background.  "Ow, man.  Really you are going to hit me?  Don't you think I've been hit enough?"  Jenna heard Lucas laughing.

Jenna was glad that Ben was happy.  She had been feeling a little guilty the last few days about the fact that all this time she had known Ben and she didn't really know anything about his personal life.  "Well why don't you go have fun with your brother?  I will see you tomorrow at school."

        "Are you trying to ditch me?"  Ben was laughing about something Lucas had said.

        "I am.  Consider yourself ditched."  Jenna responded.

        Ben stopped laughing and said sincerely into the phone, "alright, I will see you tomorrow.  I love you Jenna."  Jenna could hear kissing noises on the other end of the phone.  "Lucas, how old are you?"

        Jenna could hear Lucas' response.  "Why don't you ever tell me you love me?"  Jenna could hear Ben make a very exaggerated sigh as Lucas continued, "if you are done confessing your undying love let's go get pizza.  I am starving."

        "Bye Jenna.  See you tomorrow.  Love you."  Ben was laughing as the phone disconnected.

        Jenna sat in her room for a few minutes, thinking about her life.  She heard her grandmother and Lena laughing about something.  Jenna couldn't help but think she was always on the outside.  Jenna's grandmother already liked Lena more than Jenna.  She wasn't jealous but there was definitely a sadness there.  With all the craziness that was going on she really didn't have too much time to think about everything with her new found sobriety.  She couldn't help but feel alone.  She hated herself for feeling that way.  In the last couple of days she not only realized how many people loved her but how much they loved her.  She definitely found a whole new understanding at just how amazing it was that in a life filled with so much violence that Ben could even have the capacity to love.  And that out of all these people and all these years, she was the one he wanted to love.