If Not For You

Chapter 31

As soon as the boys had walked away Lena turned to Jenna.  "You are my best friend.  I would never do anything to hurt you," Lena was sobbing so hard that she couldn't even speak.

"What's wrong Lena, you can tell me anything."  Jenna reached out and touched Lena's arm.

"I didn't know how to tell you.  And then with everything that happened it didn't seem to ever be the right time.  I wasn't even sure if you even wanted to be with Ben.  And then you did.  It happened last year, before I knew you.  I just needed you to know before you had sex with Ben.  I don't want to hurt you.  I never meant to hurt you."

Although Lena didn't actually say it, Jenna knew what she was trying to tell her.  "It's okay Lena, it's okay."

Lena looked up at her, "it's okay?  Do you know what I am trying to tell you?"

Jenna shrugged, "you slept with Ben.  It's okay Lena.  Apparently a lot of people have."

"Really, you forgive me?  Just like that?  I am a horrible person and a horrible friend."  Lena almost couldn't believe it.  She was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Lena, it was before I even knew any of you.  You are not a horrible person and you have been a better friend to me than you will ever know."  Jenna reached out and squeezed Lena's hand.

"But I took so long to tell you.  I just wanted you to know before you had sex with him.  I didn't want you to find out after and regret it."  Lena couldn't believe that this conversation was going the way that it was.

"Are you trying to talk me out of forgiving you?"  Jenna smiled.

"No definitely not.  I just can't believe that you are forgiving me so easily.  You aren't even asking me to grovel."  Lena never had a friend like this.  She knew that this was something that she would work hard for the rest of her life to keep.

"All that is important is that you told me when it matters.  I appreciate that."  Jenna had to ask her next question.  "Do you have feelings for Ben?  Our friendship is the most important thing to me.  If you like him I am not going to let a guy come between us."

Lena started to cry again, but this time it was tears of joy.  Her friend would not only forgive but also sacrifice a chance at love for her.  "No.  I don't have feelings for Ben.  At the time I thought I did.  But now with Jax I know that I didn't.  I truly love Jax.  Ben didn't have feelings for me either.  It was just one of those we needed to need somebody moments."

Jenna was relieved.  "I am glad you didn't say yes.  I would dump him for you but I really didn't want to.  I think I really like him."

"So what now?"  Lena turned around and saw Jax and Ben sitting side by side.  Neither one seemed bloody or beaten.  She wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not.  "I'm sure Ben would like to talk to you about now."

Jenna smirked, "well I should make him sweat a little longer.  I want to talk to Jax.  Can you send him down for me?"

Lena stood up and wiped the sand off the butt of her shorts.  "Sure."  She wasn't sure what Jenna wanted with Jax.  "You're not going to like have sex to get even with us?  I mean if that's what it takes I'll be fine with it, but that may just make this awkward situation completely bizarre."

"I promise that I will not have sex with your boyfriend."  Jenna knew that was her first promise she ever made that she knew she would absolutely keep.

Lena made her way to the boys.  Ben was anxious to find out how it went with Jenna.  Jax stood up and walked a few steps forward to meet her.  He hugged her.  "I'm sorry baby, I'm so, so sorry."  Lena said.

"It's alright baby.  It's old news.  It's over."  Jax cooed.  He kissed the top of her head.

She let go of him and looked him in the eye.  "I love you."  She kissed him and when they pulled away from each other she told him that Jenna wanted to talk to him.  Jax turned back to Ben and shrugged.  Lena sat down next to Ben and they watched Jax make his way down to Jenna.  "She forgave me.  I didn't even finish my apology and she had already accepted it."

Ben smiled.  "I told you she would."

"So how did it go with you and Jax?"  Lena figured it must have been fine judging from that kiss he obviously forgave her.

"He told me we are to never speak of this again.  He said that we had been through too much to end it over something that happened over a year ago.  He also told me if I ever touched his mom or sister he would kill me."  As soon as Ben finished his sentence Lena couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Do you know that she asked me if I still had feelings for you?  She would've stopped dating you if I would've asked her too.  Even after all that.  We are really lucky to have them you know?"  Lena couldn't help but be glad that out of this mess she came out of it with more than she went in.

Ben nudged Lena to get her to look him in his eyes.  "Hey, look at me, they are lucky to have us."  When she finally met his stare he added.  "And don't ever forget that."