If Not For You

Chapter 26

By the time everyone had come back to Paul’s to party the four were pretty buzzed already.  They sat there drinking beers and taking shots of Aftershock that Jenna had brought back when she left the room to get the beers.  As hard as it was for Jax, Lena, and Ben to forget what happened they just followed Jenna’s lead.  It was almost frightening how easily she had slipped right back into being herself. Ben just guessed that it just gets easier every time.

Paul never mentioned anything about them leaving early and suspected nothing.  Ben in a way wished he would have asked a few questions.  Ben knew he couldn’t lie to Paul and if he had questioned anything, Ben knew he would’ve told him everything that had happened that night. 

The four of them had a good time despite the events of the night.  Jenna and Paul were laughing in the kitchen and taking shots and all Ben could think about was how she was going to handle Monday and seeing Killer at school.

Shortly after one a.m. Paul made it up to his room with a random blonde girl who had been somebody else’s date.  Sunday morning the foursome woke up and found themselves entangled with each other and completely hung over.    The awkwardness from the night before spilled over into the morning and they all sat up and stretched their limbs trying to think of what they should say to break the tension.

Jax stood up and spoke first, “I’ll go start the coffee.”  He walked out of the room and made his way to the kitchen.  Jenna stood up and followed him. 

“So what now?”  Lena looked at Ben waiting for an answer.

“We go on with our lives and pretend last night never happened.  There is nothing else to do.”  Ben stood up and reached out to help Lena up.  They walked together down to the kitchen.  Jax and Jenna were sitting side by side on barstools staring at the coffee pot waiting for it to finish dripping.

Once Jenna saw Ben and Lena she got off the stool and starting cracking eggs for omelets.  When she got the bacon frying the others started making their way to the kitchen.  Joe and his date Vera were first followed by Paul and the blonde that he was now ignoring.

Once Ben finished helping cleanup he pulled Jenna aside.  “I have to go,” he said regrettably.  “Are you going to be okay?”  Ben stood there looking at her waiting for her to answer.  He knew he had to get going home but he hated leaving her.

She looked him in the eye and smiled, “I’ll be fine.  I promise.”

“Look if you need me today, call me.  Okay.  I will pick you up for school tomorrow.  We will face this together.”  Ben touched her shoulder reassuringly.  She didn’t stiffen up or pull away and that was enough for Ben.

“You can’t pick me up my grandmother will go crazy.  I really can’t handle her calling me a slut right now.”  Jenna shrugged her shoulders.  “I have to face this alone eventually.  Minus well just jump feet in.”   Jenna turned to walk away but Ben caught her wrist and pulled her back.

“I’ll have Lena pick you up.  You can’t do this alone,” although at that point he had realized that she already had, “what I mean is you shouldn’t have to.”  He let go of her wrist and she stood there staring at the floor.  “I’ll get Lena to pick you up and we’ll meet at the gas station, okay.  Please at least let me do this.”  Ben took her face into his hands and made her look him in the eye.

“Alright.”  That was all she said.  She held his gaze for a few more seconds and then turned and walked away.

Ben made it home around 11.  This was one of the last weekends before it was going to get really cold.  He knew that he would have a huge list.  His dad’s car was gone and he was glad for it.  He was so mad and frustrated that he would have loved to have gotten into a fist fight with his dad.  Even though he was sure that his dad would’ve won, he would be glad to take out a whole lifetime of anger on his aggressor.