For Just A Moment

Something Worse*

This unknown weight bends the back that stood through it all. Bends my chest in sudden flashes, repeatedly. Again and again creating series of crashes coming together as everything fell apart.
A sound so incredibly wretched, waters out through my lips, and grows louder as suddenly pity joins and collides in a huge explosion of never felt agony.
Never have felt so much pain course through these bones, twisting my body to the beat of the screams that try to escape it.
Twirling my tears inside my heart as they breach my veins. Trying to save itself from drowning from its own waterfalls, that spill an over flood of nothing but tainted water-downed love.
Is this guilt? grief? sorrow? What is this force that brings me to my knees. Is what they call a broken heart?
What could possibly create a cry so loud that your throat bleeds drops of pain but you know inside you wish you could cry louder.
I feel it in every part of every piece left of the soul that it torn apart. A soul that has been repeatedly mend together with false goals and dreamed promises.
But Now no matter how hard I try to untwist my bones or save my heart, dream my soul into heaven. I find myself still with this weight unknown and stronger then every temporary solution I try to find at the end of my pen.
I break over and over under something so incredibly mournful that I wonder if it is even real. If it is even sorrow, grief, or guilt. That it is something so incredibly worse.
No matter what poison runs through my veins. I bend at it. Pound and Twitch at its will. Completely overrun by something horribly worse.
God save me. God save us all.