The Step-Father

New Kid On The Block

          "what the fuck do you mean?" Shane said in a strong whisper. I almost forgot he was white with the way he said that. "look I don't care how your little emotions are playing you, but I'm not to be played with I'm a-" he said before I cut him off.

    "you're a what? a man, well tell me Mr. Man. since all of a sudden we're going to the age difference. why Is a grown ass man like you, in here trying to fuck a seventeen year old?"

         I didn't like how he was going above that sixth mark on that anger meter. he was like one of those cartoons. I swore I saw steam coming from his head. I never seen him mad like this. I didn't know what he would do, and I wasn't trying to find out. no lie, I was a little scared, I ran to the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

       I could hear him fumbling with the door knob. "open the door." he said. "nah, I'm good. look man I have to get up early tomorrow to go school shopping. I don't need this, go away." "look, Tiana, tell me what she lied about." "she didn't lie OK," "don't continue to lie to me, you wouldn't have said that bullshit if it wasn't true!"

      I took a deep breath, "are you sure you want to know the truth about Tristan?"  "of course I do he's my son." "that's the thing he isn't your son" I could hear him sliding down the door to sitting on the ground. I sat down too. I could feel the cold tear roll down my face. I took another deep breath. "OK, when she first found out she was pregnant she was so happy." I said in a sigh.

      "she didn't think about anything else. not even me for a while. i managed, mom, I'm not so sure." i continued. he was silent, but i could hear him breathing deeply. i knew he was crying at this point. "she wanted to tell you, but just didn't know how. that's when you got the text that she was pregnant."

          he again said nothing. " she didn't want to stop working, and everything else she had to do. she kept catering , and running the bakery, and wedding planning, and planning for the baby. the first few weeks were OK, but it just got to the point where she didn't even want to get out of bed." I wasn't sure how much I should tell him, or if he was even still there. I wasn't even sure I was there.

         I didn't know exactly how I was going to continue to break this man's heart. I really didn't even want to continue. I felt bad, but I was also scared. I wanted to come out to make sure he was OK, but something in me was keeping me in there.

        so, I took another deep breath and went on. "she grew depressed, and eventually got suicidal. she didn't know how to tell you, and this time she didn't. I tried to help, but she wouldn't let me. she would close me out all the time. one day I just got tired of trying, and that's when she lost the baby."

       I felt a tear fall down my face. just by telling the story I could feel all those dreadful emotions I felt back then. "we collected some of your DNA, and used my at the time boyfriends sperm cells. he was unable to have kids, but he still produced the cell its self.  that's why we needed that $200,900. it's a very expensive process, because they had to inject your DNA into the cell then impregnate me. mom was just so happy to have the baby she didn't really realize what I did."

      I had given up my body for her happiness, and she didn't even care how it affected me. I didn't even know what to tell my friends. they all thought I was having Carlos' baby, or thought I was cheating on him. but what made it worse I was still the new kid on the block of Harlem, so that means every one knew my business. when he heard that he not only broke up with me, but got into that stupid gang shit that I told him not to.

      not to long after I gave birth he got locked up, I put Carlos as Tristan's middle name to keep memory of him. also for what I did for mom, but I knew I couldn't end things with lies. I wrote Carlos and told him the truth, unfortunately, I never got a letter back. I just assumed he was so heart broken by the lies, and the fact that I let him believe the lies that he just didn't know how to reply.

     just the thought of Carlos made me cry. I broke down crying, right there on the floor. Shane broke down the door. I was to busy crying I didn't care if he hurt me any more. to my surprise, he didn't do anything. he only got on the floor with me and held me. "so no, he's not your son. he's mine." I managed to say through the tears.

      "no, he's still my son. a little less man made, well, OK. he's still my son. he shares my DNA, he's family. is just that now he's our son, and that's how he should be raised." he said holding me closer. "no one should have to go through what you did. it was a nice thing to do, but you gave up so much. it was a big sacrifice, I know, I'm sorry." he went on.

        I couldn't find any words to say. I just say there with the hot tears rolling down my face. gasping for air, because I felt myself drown in my own tears. he just held me closer, and finally I opened my mouth and said "I don't regret my decision either. I'm not even sad about my choices."