Him (bwwm)

Chapter 15

My fingers balled into a fist. I wanted to beat the living shit out of him. I also wanted to cry and scream at the top of lungs.

The agony and pain arose like the sun when the night dies and daylight awakes. I felt my soul tremble within me. As I watched the emotion of guilt paint his face like a blank canvas.

I came to a realization that this was the man who claimed to love. This was the same man who I thought would always be there for. The same man that I thought would protect me. But never the less he stabbed me. Over and Over again. Then he sat there and watch my blood and life ooze out of me and once I was empty.

Once my soul had left me completely and the shell, which was once my body, was the only thing left. He took his fingers and push through the skin of one the open wound and drew a canvas on the walls on the inside of my body.

My tears soaked my shirt. The anger seeped out of my pores.

"Listen Rosy, I-I just wanted to talk." He voice was void of emotion but his face screamed his thoughts. His eyes told the tail of his feelings.

"There's nothing to talk about Alex. I told you I never wanted to see you again." My voice was hallow and my lips trembled with every word.

"It's been three years. Three Alex. Three fucking whole years and all it takes is one look. One look at you and all the wounds are reopen." My anxiety was overbearing. I couldn't stop the shaking.

"Rosy I-"

"Stop calling me Rosy. Just stop." My tears were forming a puddle around me but it still wasn't deep enough to drown in.

"Rose I just want to talk about Chance. Alright. I just want to be in his life. I-I know that I probably fucked that up. I want to be there for him. I was stupid to not do it right away. I can't make up for the lost time nor can I fix my mistakes." He was pleading. Pleading for my forgiveness and my love.

Straight elephant shit. That's all I heard. No doubt that he probably changed. I mean I changed over the course of three years.

I just still had doubts that he will be truly committed to being a father. I'll never let him hurt Chancellor like he hurt me. Something in me was telling me not to keep his son away from him. I never was the one to keep him away from his son in the first place. That was all him. He chose to stay away from his own son.

"I've never kept you away from Chance and you know that" I finally looked him in his eyes with out breaking.

"I know, but are you keep him away from me now?" His voice lace with remorse.

"That deepens on you, Alex. You decide if I'm going to keep him say from you by your actions. If you act like your still not ready to be a father then yes I'm going to keep you from seeing him." I was a little uneasy because I didn't want Alex to come into his life than leave. I'd rather he just stay unknown.

"Okay." He said with a small smile
"And if I do right and show you that I've truly changed can I work on making us a family again." The hope that was in his eyes burst and took over his whole face.

"No. That'll- that'll be too soon, Alex. I'm still healing from everything." Obviously I still was healing but I thought that I was over it. All of it  but when I heard his voice and saw he face I crashed.

"Can I -" Alex started to look flustered but smile when he saw Chance.

"Mommy what's taking so long." Chance whined.

"Just a minute Chance. I'll be done taking in a little bit okay." I then heard his little feet running to his room as he yelled okay.

"We-We can talk later. Imma let you get back to lil man and we can discuss things when y'all are not spending quality time together." I was kinda shock. Alex has always been selfish and rarely ever puts anyone before him. My expectations are still pretty low but that was baby step.

"Okay." A smile slowly took over my face that Chance might have his real father in his life.

Alex walked towards me and stopped just in front of me. I was confused as he look down at me. Wondering what he was planning I decide to take a step back but before I could he grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. I awkwardly hugged him back.

He whisper a goodbye and made his way toward a do.

"What the hell are you doing in my house." A deep voice rumble through the house.

I turned around to come face to face with Alex having a gun his face because of my uncle.

"Unc he was just leaving. Nothing bad happened and he didn't harm anybody. I promise." My uncle was the only one who knows the whole story about my situation with Alex. My aunt knows but only certain parts. At the time I was to emotionally damage and or too embarrassed to say certain parts. I was closer to him than my aunt.

"Are you sure that he didn't harm you?" He asked to be sure.

"Yes I'm positive, Unc." I said back to him.

Uncle finally dropped his gun and let Alex leave. The silence was unbearable. I let the floor catch my attention while my uncle glared at him until he couldn't see him anymore.

Putting the gun on safety and then sitting it on the table he walked toward me.

"HEYY my little flower." I laughed as he gave me a big bear hug.

"Your the only one I know that can hold someone at gun point then act like you didn't do anything." He cracked a smile.

"We'll he shouldn't never fucked with my wittle flower." He pinched my cheek and I slapped his hand away.

"Im gonna tell Ma on you" I teased.

"So ion care, go tell her." He said while walking into the kitchen.

"Uncle Sam!" Chance said while running in the kitchen.

I quickly took the gun off the table and put it on a high shelf so he couldn't get to it or see it.

I realize that I still had my aunt phone from having my conversation with Ace when it starts to ring in my pocket.

I looked at the phone to see that it was an unknown number.

I was hesitant to answer it but I did anyway because it could be an important call or something.

"Hello." I answered while walking back to my aunt room to give her the phone.

"WHERE ARE YOU!" He growled into the phone. I stopped dead in my tracks as i was just about to walk into her a room.

My heart was beating like a trapped bird wanting to escape their cage. My breathing became shallow.

"Answer me Rose!" He yelled again.

"Joseph h-how did you get this number." I asked softly.