Ch. 17
I came back around six in the morning, yawning, my wallet empty. I ended up driving to my best friend's house, then when I found out she wasn't there, I drove to a gas station nearby my apartment and refilled the has tank, then dozed off in the front seat.
I opened the door and pet Korra, but she kept running to my bedroom door. The door was closed. I knew someone was here, and in my bedroom. With Hannah.
Getting angry all over again, I threw open the door. "Who the fuck is-" I froze as I saw a guy there, holding Hannah. My Hannah. My fiancé.
My anger dissipated visibly, and waves of dysphoria and depression replaced it. I immediately felt so self-conscious. The first thought I had was, 'She has a real man now.'
Hannah's head whipped around to see me, and when she looked into my eyes I almost threw up.
I stumbled backwards, into the wall, seeing Hannah rush up and over to me.
"Felix, I-"
"No. No no no. W-who is he? The real man you've always wanted?" I asked, tears flowing from my eyes.
"No, Felix, it's not like that, I swear-" she continued.
I tried to push her away, but I was too weak. Tears were running down my cheeks endlessly, my body racked with heavy sobs.
"I knew you w-were gonna d-do this," I cried, "I knew you'd want a r-real man."
"No, Felix, please, listen to me," she continued, turning towards the guy and telling him to leave.
Right after he shut the door, I pushed Hannah away from me, went into our room and grabbed a bat, and went to bash that guy's brains out.
Hannah stopped me. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to her.
"What are you doing? I'm tired of being hurt. It's my turn to do it," I growled.
"Felix, that was Alex! My skateboarding friend! Remember? I told you about him," she told me.
"And you had him over when I wasn't here? That doesn't help your case. If you wanted a real man, you could've just told me." The tears came rushing back and I dropped the bat and sunk to the floor. Hannah followed and held me close, running her fingers through my hair soothingly.
"He's just a friend. You are a real boy, baby. You are a man. You're my man," she tried to assure me.
I said nothing. I let her hold me for hours, just running her hands through my hair and tellin me I'm a real man.
