Just Friends

Chapter 5 The idea of dropping out of school is appealing

Today has not got off to a great start. I wake up late meaning I don't have a ride so I take the RTD which makes me nervous. I can feel my heart pounding and I try not to look like I'm having a panic attack as I turn my music up my eyes scanning the bus hoping no one will sit next to me. I'm in such fear of this that I set my backpack on the seat next to me.  I know I'm going to be late to my first period and walking in late is something that makes me so nervous that I don't want to show up at all.  I get out at another bus stop that is full of other high school students and I feel like walking to school but that would be a  six block walk that I don't feel like doing at seven a.m. I get on the next bus and  sit in the middle and set my bag next to me again. My heart is still racing and it hurts to breathe slightly because I have still not calmed down. I try to soothe my nerves by listening to American Idiot and willing away my bad thoughts as the bus pulls up to the stop in front of my school. I got off the bus and go in the front doors and into the grand foyer. I run up the stairs and down the hall to my American Lit class. I look at the door and the handle and know I have to go in but I can't bring myself to. I wonder what class Ashton is in. I shake away the thought and turn the knob taking a deep breath. My teacher turns and looks at me her gaze cold. " Glad you could join us Mr. Hood." She says. " Sorry I woke up late." I stutter. "Excuses will get you nowhere."  She says. A guy in the back laughs while everyone else looks down at their books at not me. " We have new seats you sit next to Will." She says. I walk over and sit in the second row and get my book out but see I have no paper. " Here." I look over at Will who's holding a sheet of paper out for me, " Thanks." " No problem sorry about her chewing you out for being late." He says. I give him a small smile as I do my work. The bell rings and I get my stuff and leave.

Next is math, I don't  know who decided I did not need geometry and pushed me right into Algebra 2 but I hate them for it. My class it a bunch of juniors who never notice me or hate me. My teacher is a crabby old lady who snaps at four kids a day, me being one of them even though I don't do anything to get me in trouble. I pull out my homework as she takes roll and talks about how she can't wait to retire.  I struggle through a worksheet like usual when were told that were on lock down. I  get up as the teacher cuts the lights making it hard for me to even see where the back of the classroom is.  I squint through the darkness and find the back wall and sit there and rest my chin on my knees. Only four more classes to go. The lock down thankfully is not long and we get let out early for lunch.   I ditch going to my club meeting cause the idea of interacting with people I don't really know makes my stomach flip.  I get coffee and go back to school and go to ceramics and make a vase on the wheel.  " Thought I would find you down here," Ashton says sitting down at the wheel next to me. " What are you up to?" I ask. " Just saw you were not at your usual coffee place but I see you got it to go." I nod and keep moving my hands on the wet clay. " You seem down?" "Nothings wrong." I say."  " I got accepted to that school in Colorado Springs," Ashton says. " Good for you, what about Boulder?" " Haven't heard yet." He says and frowns. " I'm sorry I'm sure you'll get in." 

"Thanks, Cal." I give him a smile but inside I'm upset. "What will I do without you next year? All these people are so fake." I say. " You're telling me." He says. "You can come up to my dorm and hey next year you will be a Junior and almost out of here." He smiles. " I guess I'm ready to drop out now." " Don't do that your parents would be pissed." "I know."  I lift my foot off the pedal and  move my pot over to the fan before I begin cleaning my wheel. " Can I get a ride today?" I ask. " Maybe I may have a doctors appointment today after school." He says and gets up as some kids start walking in. " Can you write me a pass to get out of Spanish? My teacher scares me." I say. Ash laughs and rolls his eyes. " What is that your seventh?" " Yeah." I wish I would but I can't." He says. I sigh and wash the clay off my hands and lean against the sink. "I'll see you later k Cal pal?" Ash says befoe giving me a hug and running up the stairs to his next class leaving me alone and deep in thought.