Hold Me In Your Everlasting Arms

Part 7 Thought From Places

I crawled through my front door after near silent car ride.

How was school

good

how are your teachers

nice

do you have any classes with your friends

yes

It wasnt that i didnt like speaking to my mom, I just had other things on my mind.

I couldnt ignore the fact that I had chills when he looked at me, or that he was so frantic to get away. I sensed that he felt it to.

This was wrong. Not in the "A teacher fucked me" wrong but a, "I picked my nose in my bedroom" wrong. It wasnt adrenaline pumping, it was an embarrassing secret, but it just felt so natural.

I thought about calling Emily, but then i remembered the "picking my nose" feeling and decided against it.

I picked up my copy of "The Rattle Bag" to bring to my room, but my mom grabbed me before I could run off.

She looked at me and said "Your father called. . " Then she glanced away taking her coat off.

My parents hadnt been together since I was five. He lived about 15 minutes from my moms house, but it seemed an eternity away. He was a suburban guy, while my mom couldnt ever leave the city.

Me and Emma, my 12 year old sister, spend some weekends there. It is always devestatingly boring and predictable, but it is our duty as his kids to go see him.

"Yeah?" I said knowing what was coming next. "He wants you and your sister to stay there this weekend" she said blandly. They have never gotten along.

"Okay" i said swiftly and strode into my room before i could hear a lecture about how even though they arent together I should still appreciate both of them as if they were.

I was in my room for 15 minutes when i hear the triumphant sound of Emmas viola, her signature notion that she was home. I started laughing thinking about how her daily routine might someday seem borning when she grew up.

I couldnt stop imagining myself texting Ezra this and giggling when he responded sonething clever, i shut the book and took a shower hoping the water would suppress the butterflies.