Hold Me In Your Everlasting Arms

Keats and Yeats

*************TWO WEEKS HAVE PASSED*****************

i stumbled into the cafe near my Dads house, the autumn winds carried me like a plastic bag to the foot of its steps.

The Barista looked up and smiled, "You usually don't come in on week days." I politely smiled back pulling leaves out of my hair, "Yeah, sometimes I need a little change in routine." She smiled and began pouring my coffee.

"He was in here the other day. ." She started knowingly. "Oh my dad? haha." I said distantly, she cocked her head to the side. "No, your boyfriend?" She looked questioningly, I nearly dropped the coffee she was handing to me. "Oh, yeah him. Not my boyfriend. Just a friend." I said dryly before grabbing my coffee. She looked embarrassed, and I didn't feel an ounce of sympathy.

  

  She was sweet, but now that Ezra and I were talking more, I had to be all the more cautious.

 

   We had been texting, and I was going to school early so we could talk. It was relieving to know that I could be so comfortable with someone.

  

   What was really hard was avoiding my friends, well not avoiding exactly. But my giggles at texts throughout the day weren't exactly. . . . subtle. Emily was the first to ask,

"So a boyfriend?"

"No! I would have told you!"

"Well I know that none of our texts are funny enough to smile at."

"Well Lu-"

"Not even Lux's, look if ya don't want to talk about it. . I get it!"

So she dropped it and we continued. I didn't want to lie to them, but I couldn't tell them anything unless I

a. Knew that Ezra was officially my boyfriend

and,

b. Decided that I could trust them enough.

Four high school girls arent't exactly the first thing that comes to mind when someone says 'trust'.

I turned back to the counter and ordered a sandwich, but by the time I sat down I couldn't remember what I ordered.

I had that school skipping feeling in the pit of my stomach even though I had off today, i was anxiously waiting my principals arrival to this cafe. Replaying his astonished face in my head.

I pulled out my Keats book and flipped, seeing the words but not reading them.

Its been a week since I've talked to my dad, and here I was some 2 blocks away from where he was sitting in that godamn basement. It seemed forever since we talked.

Last Tuesday I walked up the concrete stairs to his antique door. It was lightly opened, as it always was and I walked in. There was a strange smell that lingered but I couldn't pick up what it was. I reached down to the mail sitting there and I called his name, "Dad?"

The familiar sound of his creaking footsteps up the stairs. He seemed rather annoyed that I was there. "What, did you forget something?" I felt uncomfortable, I had never been unwelcomed. "Dad, I . . . uh"

He took his hand and punched it against the opposite side of the doorway, it was in that moment I registered the smell of whiskey.

I was taken back, and thought to leave. The look on his face was one of a child who didn't mean to do anything wrong.

"Maude come in, lets talk."

Sitting at that wooden kitchen table where the light hit just right, I saw my father break down. Not crying, just purging.

"Maude I have cancer."

I remember gripping his hands before I got up and left. I drove home without saying goodbye, and I hadn't called him since.

How could I? It felt surreal, a dream I hadn't  awoke up from.

In these past few weeks I had felt betrayed, depressed, and guilt.

Betrayed because he had known this, depressed because of the reality, and guilt for not being there.

I didn't mention this to Emma, my mom, and especially not Ezra.

I ran my fingers threw my hair and thought about walking to my dads,  what would I say? What would I do?

I couldn't focus at school and I tried writing about it but nothing seemed to click. I just wanted more than anything to run away with my dad and sit with him somewhere on an island forever.  As soon as she brought my sandwich over it was gone. I scared it down and walked out leaving my book there.

I walked to my dads, not thinking

Writers note;
Sorry this ended weirdly, but the original chapter I wrote was so long that I had to split it somewhere! Leave in the comments what you think! the next chapter will be up soon!!!