Hold Me In Your Everlasting Arms

Part 10: Tell me that you want me, tell me that you want me

I left my dads house early to go for a run.

I left jogging with my arctic monkeys playlist.

I love the city, I really do, its just that the suburbs let me run without being whistled at every 10 seconds.

I ran a 5k route and finished at the foot of my favorite cafe.

I walked in and saw a smiling barista who automatically began pouring my black coffee, a reached over on a nearby book shelf and grabbed whatever my hands landed on.

I went over to where I usually sit and

I noticed a girl sitting a few tables over with the same hair as me. Not only that, she had the same nose, and body type.

I thought for a few minutes wondering if that 'fact' about having 3 people that look like you in the world.

I was about 5 pages into the book when I realized I had to go to the bathroom.

I crammed in the little stall and just as I finished I heard a girl scream followed by muliple "sorrys" coming from a boy.

I went outside to see what had happened and I saw the girl with curly hair furiously staring at guess who

Ezra Koenig.

He saw me then looked back and forth between her and me and became embarrassed. " Wow, okay so wow, im really sorry Miss I actually thought you were her." he said gesturing towards me.

"But. . .uh. . . uh. . . she actually is here," i tried not to laugh. He looked at me pointing confusion drawing on his face, "what are the odds!" The girl groaned and sat back down glaring at her laptop.

I laughed a nervous giggle realizing how stupid he had just sounded.

I looked down to notice that I was in a complete sweat suit. . . . great. . . .

He smiled embarrassed and clenched his teeth gesturing his hands in a "oops" manner. I didn't know what to do, he seemed to resent me at the same time he wanted me.

As much as I wanted to I couldnt ignore this. . . .this. . . . coincidence, thats what we'll call it.

I picked up my coffee and he led me to the back of the cafe so we wouldnt have to see that girl anymore. I quickened my pace as his hand moved down from my shoulders to the small of my back.

We sat down and he still looked confused. "So I walk in. . " he started looking off to the side as though watching a memory. "And I see this girl! And I didnt know what to do because I was certain it was you! So I thought to myself 'Why does fate have to be so wrong.' And I walk up behind her all cool and whisper in her ear, ' I guess we cant ignore this' And she whips around, and it wasnt you."

' he paused looking at me with his hazel eyes, I sipped my coffee to prevent a giggle from coming out. He grinned in disbelief and began again.

"Now this is when gets weird. So then you, walk out of the bathroom." He was nearly shouting causing me to start laughing. He began laughing too.

"Seriously," he was shaking his head smiling at me. "You tell me, what does this mean to you."

Slightly thrown off I stopped laughing to think, I wanted to say it was a coincidence but that was the easy answer. I looked into his eyes, "I think it means you're stalking me." Obviously joking we both started laughing.

He put his hands up, "Hey hey, I live right around the block and I have never seen you here. Its you stalking me."

We began talking for a little bit, it was almost as though we knew eachother for a long time. We skipped the weather shit, and before long I was beginning to feel comfortable. Like I was meant to be here right now.

He asked me about my Dad, but he looked at me cautiously, he started. ". . So since you dont see him a lot you must miss him."

"Yeah, sometimes, other times i resent him. . ."

He was leaned close to me before I could elaborate anymore. It was like he was about to admit something, but before he could his elbow hit the book I was reading. It flopped on the floor and, we both bent down to get it.

We bumped heads and started laughing and when he started apologizing the space between us started closing in.

His eyes shut and i moved away.

"What are you doing!"  I whisper-yelled. His forwardness shocked me as much as his change in heart.

"Ezra whats your deal." He looked at me dumbfoundedly and ran his fingers through his hair. "Im sorry, this was stupid, Im stupid, I shouldnt have. . ." His face sunk and his cheeks were red.

I reached for his hand before he could get up, "Im not mad, just confused." I ran his fingers though his hair again. "You told me just yesturday that this," I said gesturing between me and him, "cant happen."

"Yet here you are now trying to kiss me and laughing with me." I said trying to understand, I honestly was not upset with him

"Just tell me that you want me." He looked up at me. "Im not playing your games." I finished.

"Youre right, this was not fair of me at all, Im just as confused as you are. This is a little overwhelming for me, and" he lowered his voice "I do want you." He looked away from me trying to catch the breath he had just lost.

I looked away thinking I was going to run away, puke, cry, or any of the above.

Instead i took a deep breath, "Maybe Ill just see you Monday." The tension between us lessened, but an awkwardness arose.

He got up to go but before he did he turned around looking down at me, "I need to know before I go," he pulled his dress coat over his oxford shirt and I looked up to his earnest eyes. "Do you want me?"

He hadnt broke eye contact when I finally managed to let out that one syllable, "yes". Relief rushed over his eyes, but did not change his face.

"You're gonna drive me crazy." He mumbled under his breath beginning to walk away.

I was thinking about how surreal and impractical the situation was, yet here it sat right in front of me.

And the worst part was, I couldnt even talk about it with anyone.