Passing Through Love.

Surviving and Remembering

||||||||||||||| Chapter Nine : Surviving and Rememebering |||||||||||||||

The walls were white and the tiles on the floor were a calming pale blue.A girl,no older than thirteen,sat on a chair between three beds.She held a magazine with a deep pink cover and she kept reading aloud.

"..And there right on the carpet,The famous actress,Julianne Sydney annouced her engagement to the guitar player ,Tomas Parkinson.The oval diamond ring she showed was the center of attention at the carpter "She stopped reading and looked up at the young woman laying on one of the three beds.

"See, momma...your favorite actress is gonna get married.We can gossip about how her wedding or how her dress would be like...if only you would wake up..if only you all would wake up"The girl said looking over at the two boys who laid still on the other two beds in the room.

I watched in silence as the girl kept coming every day for weeks.Each day with a pack of magazines or heroic stories.She either brought a fashion magazine or a 'Batman' , 'Iron man' or even 'Hulk' stories.Each day she would read to her family untill one day,she walked in the hospital's room to see a bed messing.Her mother's bed.She knew what that meant and she didn't react.She couldn't react or comprehend to it.She just took out the magazine she brought and threw it in the pin,before picking up a story that she left before.She sat between the two left beds and read again.just a couple of days later, the girl walked in to find only one bed left.A young,fifteen and a half year old boy lay there,with his eyes closed and lips slightly open.Frowning she got out the story she brought, sat down and started reading.

Unlike always she brought a new story.One of her favorites. She brought a 'Super man' story.She took a deep breath and started reading.She refused to go home that night and it wasn't the first time she refuses to go home.Her father gave up a week after the accident and so he left the choice to her.she either came early in the morning and left late at night or she just stayed the night in the hospital.The next morning she woke up early and once she opened her eyes she continued reading.She was so taken in the story that she almost missed the first movement from the boy in front of her.But then a minute later, right after she stopped reading, the boy turned his head slowly to her and whispered. 

"I..I hate. ..Superman"He said,his voice tired yet there was a small smile on his face.

"Oh ..my ...god..Nate, you woke up"the girl exclaimed and jumped right up from her chair,her eyes full of unshed tears.

I watched what has happened in front of me and shook my head.I didn't want to remember.I didn't want to remember those memories yet this time was worse.I wasn't in the story.I was outside, just watching.

I turned around, feeling a lump in my throat and blinked when I saw who's behind me.

"I am sorry I left you my angel...you were way too young to be left alone like that"My mother said and once again I remembered that she was here.That I was dead....dead? I didn't even want to try and accept it.Actually I did accept it.I just didn't want to accept that I won't be able to do all the things I planned anymore.I would just watch other people achieve there dreams from...from wherever I am in now.

"I had Nate.."I whispered the lump in my throat not wanting to leave.It was hard using 'Had' and his name.I couldn't accept that he too died.

"I know..I left him too"she said looking down.

"Mom..it wasn't your faulf"I said, trying to reassure her.

"Don't reassure me.You know it was my fault ..one way or another"she scolded me and I just looked away.

"Diana...Anna, sweetie..you need to go back"she said after a minute of silence.

"Back? "I asked arcing a brow.

"Anna you need to wake up"she said in a stern voice.

"I am dead..not asleep.Mom what's wrong? "I asked.I was already panicking.I was way more than terrified. She has been acting nice for long but now something was changing.The place we were in was turning to a black empty place,there was no lights around and the frown she wore was an annoyed frown.

"Anna wake up"

" But mom I...

"Anna wake up" She repeated.This time,her voice was way more angry,tired and worried.

She kept repeating the same sentences 'Anna wake up' 'Dian wake up' 'Come on...wake up already damn it'.I didn't know what to do, I was confused.Right before I think more about it,I felt my body shaking.

My body?  Is that really what I felt? .Another shake and I frowned.I wanted whoever it was to stop shaking my shoulders, my whole body ached as a response to a simple shake.I was going to shout at whoever it was,but then as I realized what was going on,I opened my eyes. Am I still alive ? Oh god please,let me be alive. I hadn't realized it till then,but i wanted to live,i didn't want to accept death.So instead of giving up again,I took a deep breath and forced my eyes to open wider.

There was a boy right above me.His lips were cut,his head was bruised and his talll black hair was everywhere on his face,yet what caught my attention were his piercing pure green eyes looking at me with relief.Liam.I thought and blinked in confusion.

"Diana finally..."He spoke and offered me his hand to help me to sit up.And strangely enough I accepted.

"Diana are you okay?  How do you feel? "He asked and in any other day I would have told him how stupid his questions were but at the moment only one thing came out of my mouth.

"Nate...?"I asked him,hoping he could tell me where my brother was."Nate? "I repeated .

"He's over there"he said pointing to a place in front of us."Chris is trying to wake him up...do you want any help? "He asked but it was too late.I was already running to where he showed me.I wanted t it was strange for Liam to be the one helping me,but then again the plane did crash.But before I could think more about him,my mind went back to finding Nathan.

Fair enough, by the time I managed to see him, I saw Chris waking him up.He was just starting to sit up with Chris' help when our eyes met.

"Anna" he whispered,so low that even I didn't hear it but I knew it was my mame by the way his lips formed.

"Nate"I whispered back,and just like that I was in his arms.I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him close to me.

"I..I though..I ..we..the plane"I started but then stopped.I had no clue what I was going to say.It was all coming back to me now.The plane, the crash, the dream, the memory, Nate.Everything.

"Shhhh,Anna it's okay..it's okay,we're okay now"He said,rubbing my back.I remembered his words.They were the same as what he said In the hospital.Back then I hadn't waited too.Once he was able to sit I had thrown myself at him and cried,just like I was crying now,and just like now he was the one calming me. He even used the same words,yet I knew what he meant was different now.Back then the 'we are okay' meant him and Matt.He was reassuring me of them both, never in his worst nightmare had he imagined being seperated from his twin ,yet now he meant me and him.'we are okay' me and him..and I had no clue wether to be glad or feel more hurt. 

"I ...we are? "I asked lamely in between sobs.

"We will be..we have each other, sister"he whispered and I nodded.

I believed him and I needed to get a grip and so I pulled away to look at his face.I knew I looked like hell and had some few cuts on my face,I could feel them, but luckily Nate was fine,just a cut lip and a very small bruise on his cheek.

"Are you okay? "I asked, knowing how stupid the question was yet also knowing that I. needed to make sure he is okay somehow.

"I will be..."he answered simply and tried to force a smile but instead he grimaced and I knew it was because of his lips being cut.So answering him, I hugged him again, this time for his sake and mine...not mine only.We were together ....anything else we will survive.Family above all, that is what we always said and still were saying.