"I understand that my daughter, Luciana Grace has been under your guidance for more than 5 years but after a long time of thinking, I want to take her back." I heard my father talk to Mr Brown through his office. Simon and all the other kids were standing outside of it with me, confused and anxious as to why he was here.
"I don't know if I can do that...she's under foster care here..." Mr Brown went on about a whole bunch of other things. Foster care? I hadn't even put thought into the concept until now. My head was spinning with thoughts and realisations, my heart feeling a lot of things, but happy wasn't one of them.
"I know, and if I'm correct it should be up. The 7 years was over a few months ago." I listen intently as Chrissie grips my arm tightly.
"Lucy, I don't want you to go.." She pouts as the other kids agree, obviously they weren't oblivious as to what was going on.
"I don't want to go either.." Was all I mustered to come out of my mouth. The conversation between the two had dragged on for quite a while before Mr Brown suggested to let me know about everything that's going on.
When the door opened, the two men were sitting opposite a desk. Simon had walked in with me, closing the door in front of the other kids as Nanny McPhee brought them up to bed.
"Simon, Luciana, I'm sure by now you've realised that years ago Lucy was fostered here to live. But it has now expired and she has to come back to live with me." My father speaks, his voice making me feel mixed emotions. He's the one who walked out on me, he's the one that left me, and he can't be the one to choose if I come back with him or not.
"No, she's not going with you." Simon spat at my father but Mr Brown spoke up. "Now Simon, we can't keep her in this household otherwise we can have the house legally taken away from us."
"I don't care!" He shouted as I cocked my head towards my father, shocked.
"You'd do that to them? Don't you think they've been through enough?" I almost shout, walking closer to him to prove my point. But this had nothing to do with them, just like Evangeline they'd all live on. "Don't you think we all have?!"
But I wouldn't, I'd be left to wither in the own heart ache of my broke heart, because I won't be able to see any of the kids anymore - not Eric, or Lily, or Sebastien. My head couldn't even comprehend what my life would be life without them, especially Simon.
"Now now, my child. You're being immature." My father spoke with such calmness, and it angered me.
"No. No I'm not. You know what being immature is? Running away from your pain, you're the one that left me and you should be the one to suffer with even more pain. Not me. Not when the first half of my life was built upon it." Simon gripped my hand suddenly, as if to calm me down but I felt so horrible inside.
How dare my father become this type of person? How dare I call him my father.
"Luciana, there comes a point in everyone's life where you need to leave something you love very much behind. But it's not because of pain or that they don't love you, it's because they have no choice. If your mother were still here, she'd understand." I squeezed Simon's hand tightly, but stopped when he flinched back in pain. Mr Brown and Simon had never seen me so mad.
"Don't bring my mother into this. She's the one who didn't have a choice. She's the one who had to suffer. You chose to leave me. Well guess what, the only reason I'm still here today is because of the Brown family and what they did for me. You did nothing."
I felt so relieved to finally be saying these things to my father. I had made up moments like this in my head, thinking of the things I would say to him when I finally saw him. But nothing compared to the words coming from my mouth.
Although at the same time, this wasn't me. I wanted him to feel guilty, feel like he didn't do his job. I wanted him to feel what I had felt for years.
"Luciana," he began, a calmness in his voice that scared me once again. "Grab your things, we're leaving in 30 minutes." And then I watched him walk out of the office and towards the carriage outside the house. Grumpily, Simon brought me up the stairs, he didn't look too happy about this either.
I grabbed a small suitcase, putting in all my clothes and stationary and also packing my book. I put mothers notebook in last but I felt so...vulnerable. Was this my breaking point? Was I going to go crazy and run off somewhere? Simon watched me quietly but it was obvious he didn't feel any better than I did.
"Lucy are you leaving?" Lily asked as she sat up in her bed, I looked over to her to see all 7 kids watching me as I packed. "I'm afraid so." I whispered back, stopping momentarily before wheeling the bag down the hall.
"But you haven't had your fairy tale ending yet." She sounded so crushed, and it crushed me. Her Childress about believing fairy tales were true broke my heart.
"Lily, this isn't the end of my story, just the chapter. Bigger and better things are awaiting both our families, we just need to take chances and see where it gets us. I'm so sorry that it had to come to this, I really am but promise me you guys will remember me."
Then one by one, I said goodbye to each of them before turning away from the six in bed and walking down the stairs behind Simon. Nanny McPhee was standing at the door as well as Mr Brown and my father outside a carriage guided by midnight black horses.
I thanked Nanny McPhee before turning to Mr Brown, father taking the suitcase out of my hands. "Thank you Mr Brown, for everything, truly. You were the family I never had.." I spoke clearly as the other kids watched from the bedroom window.
He nodded to me as I pulled him into a hug. He was hesitant at first but hugged me back before I let go and turned to Simon. Only now did I realise the silent tears running down my cheeks, I had cried a lot recently.
"Simon," I began but before I could continue, I broke down. "I don't want you to go." He spoke into my hair, squeezing me tightly as I felt tears drip down my shoulder from his cheeks.
I had never seen Simon cry other then when his mother died, and I certainly haven't seen him cry over me. He leant his head on my shoulder, savouring the feeling of our arms wrapped around each other. I hugged him tighter, melting into his body warmth. I didn't care how young we were, I didn't care if I was about to leave, all I cared about was this one sweet moment.
"Simon...I need to tell you something" I whispered so only he could hear, but I wanted to make sure he knew I meant every word. Mr Brown and my father had taken a step back, letting us have our space. Keeping my voice hushed, I continued.
"For a while now I-I've had feelings for you. I don't know why I'm telling you this now but I like you, I like you more than anything in the world. If I could choose, I would stay here with your family, with you."
"I know I could possible be ruining our friendship but I don't care, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. And although we are still young, I know I like you..love actually." I then felt his lips press against my forehead as I pull out of the very long hug.
"Kick arse tomorrow, okay?" I ask, trying to add light to the situation. He nods, smiling sadly as I walk closer to the carriage and hop in. Through the darkness, I can see the glimmer in his eyes. I look up and wave goodbye to the other children then to Nanny McPhee, Mr Brown and Simon, my first love.
I didn't dare make eye contact with my father, I couldn't bare to look at him and not feel pain. Just when I thought my life was going smoothly and things were turning up for me, he came along and ruined it; again.
