I Hate Him, I Love Him

Chapter 9

In a family of two children. I always felt like the neglected one. My brother Amir is 5 years older than me. He is the pride of my family. He went to Austrailia to study business and now he is a very successful businessman settled in Canberra.

I never felt like he was my brother. He had always been cold towards me and rarely talked to me. While others had supportive siblings I had Amir, not giving a damn about me. He acted like we were strangers.

I wasn't very shocked at his behaviour because he was like this with everyone. He doesn't talk much to our family and neither is he very close to us. He has been a sober and hard-working boy. He only cares about himself I think. His life, his career, everything about him.

I don't know why my parents really like him. Of course every parent would be proud of a child who is always successful and achieves so much, but how with that sort of a personailty? Regardless of his cold personality, my parents loved him.

And no matter how hard I try, I am not as good enough as my older brother. I sometimes hate him for being so extra ordinarily smart and hard working. Because everyone expects the same infact much more from me now.

My mom doesn't have time for me ever. She is always busy in her social activities. Dad is busy handling his huge business. I always feel so lonely when I am with my family.

Ever since Haniya came into my life. None of my family's behaviour had any affect on me. She never made me feel like I am worthless like how my family used to make me feel. She has never neglected me, and has always been by my side.

She treated me as if I was her own younger sister. And I was blessed to have felt like having an understanding and caring older sister. I am not someone who gets along well with others neither do I trust someone so much to open up to them. But Hani was the only person who I got along with so well and trusted the most.

Haniya has no idea how much she changed my life and saved me from falling into deep sadness which I felt among my family. I love her and can't imagine not being close to her.

It's been two days since she's left and I miss her like hell. I don't feel like doing anything if Haniya isn't here with me. I have been playing all of our memories in my head as if it was a film reel. I can't stop crying when I think about it.

There is no one who can comfort me now. I said I will stay strong but it's so hard. Just when I think that I have no one, I get a text message.

Haniya: You must be crying like a baby now aren't you?

I smile at her text and wonder how she finds out.

Haniya: How do I find out? Every time you cry or you're worried, my heart doesn't feel at peace. That's when I know this stupid crybaby is upset. Now wipe your tears! I told you I will contact you soon so don't be sad ok?

Me: Ok...I will try :( I really miss you Haniiii ;____;

Haniya: I miss you more :'(

Me: So how's America?

Haniya: it's not great without you :(

But overall it's okay, Bhai and Bhabi are very caring. My uni is gonna start soon so I am gonna be busy. But I promise I will write to you soon ok?

Oh and btw I told Zoya and all to take you out with them. Cuz I don't won't you to lock yourself in your room plus I don't want you to feel lonely plus your stupid ass won't get the motivation to go out with others.

Hence I had to do this :3
Now you better go ok? Have fun and send me pics!! :D

And for God sakes don't cry or my heart will explode from all that unpeacefulness cuz of your tears!!! (I wonder how that is even possible but yeah...)

Take care and have fun ok ;) I love you!!! :*

.............

I laugh at her texts and thank her for caring for me so much. And I guess I won't cry now. Atleast for the "peace" of Hani's heart. I laugh at this thought.

After a while I get a message from Zoya telling me to meet up at a cafe. Zoya and her friends have been studying in our school and they are all really friendly but I am not very close to them. I guess I will be spending time with them from now on....

I get ready for our meet up and I realize that I haven't heard from Hassan for so many days. There's just a few days left for him to leave so maybe he is busy with all the packing and preparations.

Anyways, I head out for the meet up, feeling nervous yet excited...

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