Into the War || A Captain America Love Story

53

STEVE

"I hate you."

"I know, and you have every right to," I comfort my wife, holding her hair back as she heaves into the toilet. I despise seeing her like this, and it's all technically my fault too, making it worse.

At the last appointment we had, the doctor warned us that week nine would be the roughest one when it comes to the side effects, and she definitely wasn't wrong. Despite hearing that news yesterday, it was an overall great appointment. We got to hear the heartbeat and it lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. It's been a constant fear of mine since we found out that we would be having a family, the thought of losing Tori and/or our child. But after hearing that everything was doing just fine, I felt a little more reassured. However, the puking has gotten to an extreme.

"Is this even healthy?" I ask my wife.

I receive a deadly glare in response, causing my skin to crawl. "Apparently so," she mutters. "I can barely brush my teeth without having to throw up, but all is well, even though something is pushing my insides around."

"I'm so sorry," I mumble.

She just sighs, attempting to brush her teeth again. This time, nothing backfires and she is able to just get the bad taste out of her mouth for the longest amount of time I've seen today. She buries her face into my black shirt, wrapping her arms around me. I sadly smile, falling into her embrace and taking her into my own. I close my eyes, allowing myself to drown everything around me so that I just feel her. I hear stifled cries emitting from her. My heart cracks, and I just hold her closer to me.

"Shh," I coo to her, smoothing her hair down. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay."

"I just want it to be over," my wife sobs. "I just want all this to end."

"I know, sweetheart. Me too," I continue to coo. "But you just have to get through this, and then it'll be over. I know it's hard on you, but you gotta push through, okay? Just keep in mind that we wouldn't be having a family if you didn't have to go through this."

Tori nods, sniffling as she pulls away from me. Her brown orbs are still glazed over with tears, staring up into mine. She nods her head vigorously again, wiping the tears away. "Okay," she whispers. "I-I-I'll try."

"Not try. Will," I correct firmly, taking her face in my hands. "You are the strongest person I've ever known, and you will get through this."

She laughs softly, choking back a sob. "How? I can't handle this, Steve. You know I can't."

I stare at her in awe. I feel like my heart has just been torn out of my chest and is being squeezed tightly in a strong fist. It's like my whole world has just collapsed. "No," I quake, about to spill over with tears. "No, I refuse to believe that. And you know damn well that I'll never give up on you, no matter what awful things we're going through. You've done the same for me, and I plan on returning that favor until the day I die, you hear? If you think any differently, I-I-I don't know what I'm going to do with myself."

"Don't say that," she trembles, more tears streaming down her cheeks. I quickly wipe them away with my thumbs, staring into her sad eyes. "Don't you say that to me. I've done nothing but cause you harm."

I press my lips on to hers, silencing her. I feel a single tear fall from my lashes, running down my face. Tori holds on to me, like if she doesn't I'm going to disappear. I do the same to her, making sure that she knows how I feel: I can't live without her. Hell, I don't know where I'd be without her, if I was even alive. I slowly pull away from her, resting my forehead against hers.

"You've given me I've ever wanted," I tell her. I rest my hand on her stomach, taking in a deep and shaky breath. "I'll never be able repay you because you've given me something that can't be replicated."

She smiles, running her fingers through my hair comfortingly. "And you have given me everything," she says.

"Come here," I mumble. I scoop her up in my arms, bringing her to our bed. I lie down next to her, and she snuggles up close to me. I hold her close to me, kissing her cheek. "I love you so much, Victoria."

"I love you too, Steven," she smiles. "Now can you get me a tissue please?"

I roll my eyes, laughing lowly to retrieve the box of tissues from the living room.

•••

Tori and I just curl up and lay low for the rest of the night, watching TV and just enjoying each other's company. We snack on popcorn and lay next to each other on our bed. More like Tori eats and I plait her hair.

She randomly reaches over for the TV remote on my side of the bed, undoing the braid I put in her hair and pausing the show we were both halfway watching.

"I just had a thought," Tori announces.

"And that is?" I ask her, listening attentively.

"Since we're hopefully going to find out if we're having a baby girl or a boy soon," she elaborates, tracing shapes on my chest, "we need to try and come up with names."

I groan, glancing up at the ceiling. "I knew it," I mutter. "All right, you got any ideas?"

"No, I was hoping that you would," Tori grins.

I roll my eyes, shrugging. "I honestly have no idea. At this point, anything but Anthony or Samantha."

"Or nothing but Anthony or Samantha to get those two to shut up," she says.

"Wait, are you being serious?" I ask her, sitting up to look down at her.

"I only am if you are. We have to compromise on this."

"Then let's take baby steps," I say. "Do we want to start off with a boy or girl's name first?"

"Boy would probably be easier," she confesses. "Let's go with that."

"Okay. Now, do we want to name our child after someone or brainstorm randomly?"

She sighs. "I kind of wanted to at least have the middle name after someone, but we have to agree on who."

My eyes widen. "That's a pretty broad category."

"It is, but I feel like we should," Tori states. "Like how Clint and Laura called their kid Nathaniel Pietro, after Natasha and the Maximoff kid."

"Okay, my brain already hurts," I complain. "Let's wait until we know if it's a boy or a girl and make our decision off of that."

"All right," my wife nods. "Then after that, we start talking about the nursery."

"Oh god," I groan. "I don't wanna even think about it."

Tori giggles, pecking my cheek. "Okay, let's not then."